


He and I

by thefandomslut



Category: Naruto
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Least Amount of Angst Possible, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Rating May Change, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:15:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25980451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefandomslut/pseuds/thefandomslut
Summary: When words run dry,he does not try,nor do I.We are on par.He just is,I just am,and we just are.- Lang Leav~ ~ ~ ~ ~Being invited to be Konoha’s historian, Athena didn’t think she’d stay the whole month. It was still a surprise to her sometimes that she’d said yes to the offer at all.If you’d told her even an hour before the offer was presented to her, she would’ve cackled at the thought, but it was amazing what a lazy genius was able to accomplish sometimes without even trying.Although they had both felt the initial spark, neither Shikamaru or Athena were very good at just letting a good thing happen, constantly fighting the unknown force that was intent on pushing them together.So the main question now was whether they’d accept their feelings, or if their relationship will die as a ‘what if’.(Main Character is chronically ill)Makes a valiant attempt to update weekly ~
Relationships: Nara Shikamaru/Original Female Character(s), Nara Shikamaru/Reader
Comments: 33
Kudos: 119





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After writing my first smut, my friends then decided they wanted to hear how Shikamaru and his love met and got together, so here we are.
> 
> I've tagged it as OFC and Reader as the main character does have a name and a noted appearance, but I will try to keep her a bit neutral so we can all enjoy loving on our Shadow Boy™.

Though it had been called as a casual meeting upon peers, Kakashi still felt uncomfortable sitting in the Hokage’s chair and being asked to lead the conversation. Luckily, he had Tsunade and Shizune on either side of him so he didn’t feel completely unsupervised. And there’s a sense of familiarity with having Naruto and Sasuke sitting across the table, though the mature way they sat next to each other still felt strange. The only thing that felt completely unchanged in the room was Shikamaru’s lax position is his seat, hands behind his head with his eyes closed, taking the seconds before someone spoke to try and relax.

Clearing his throat, Kakashi tried to shove down his small bout of nerves and get the meeting started.  
“As I’m sure you’re all aware, the village has nearly started standing on its own two feet again following the war. And with the five nations being at peace, we can start assessing what needs to be changed now that I’m hokage. Or on the other hand, what needs to be saved and protected.”

“We need to find out what history has been hidden from the rest of us.” Sasuke responds flatly. Kakashi softened, feeling the weight of addressing the elephant in the room leave him. He looks to the former-Hokage next to him, silently asking for her opinion.

“The village elders hid things from even Shizune and I. Now that they’re gone, I’m sure we’ll be able to find the scrolls that they hid from us filed away somewhere. After we find them, the next question is, how do we want to handle them?” Staring back at the current Hokage, she made it very clear that this was his decision, and she didn’t want a part in making it, having gladly surrendered her leadership. They could both feel the raven haired man staring them down though, making it clear to everyone in the room that there were only a few right answers that he would accept.

Shizune, sensing the tension in the air, tried her best to bring logic into the fray, knowing that it could become a decision made on emotion very quickly if they let it.  
“We can’t just release all of the village’s past into the open. I’m not saying everything was done for the right reason, but it could cause a lot of civil unrest without adding any context to it!”

“Then add the context.”

All heads turn to the Uchiha again, waiting for him to elaborate.  
Clicking his tongue, he continues.  
“Get a historian. That’s what they do. Ninja wouldn’t be able to survive without the civilians around us, and they trust us because of the context they learn from the history that’s passed down. A good one can do that.”

While the hokages go back to looking at each other to gage the others' opinion. Shikamaru hid a scoff behind a cough when he turned his head a little further to see Naruto. The blonde never was able to hide his ignorance well. He sat in his chair eagerly nodding, but the way his eyes kept passing back to Sasuke, it wasn’t hard to figure out that he had no idea how civilians and trust came into finding ‘context’. If asked, he probably wouldn’t be able to give anyone a straight answer on what context was either.

Going back to the skills they had perfected in their academy days, Shikamaru quickly jotted down a summary of what was going on, in the plainest words possible, and folded the note before reaching behind Sasuke and tapping Naruto on the shoulder with it.  
The sound of Sasuke tsk-ing again jumped over the quiet mumblings between the two hokages that had just started. It didn’t matter if everyone in the room saw Naruto receive and read the note, Shikamaru was just trying to save him some embarrassment. But as usual, any attempt at casually helping Naruto backfired on the blonde himself.

“What about if we get someone who was alive back then to do it! Like someone even older than Granny Tsunade!”  
Having apparently not learnt his lesson, Shikamaru leant on his side to fully face Naruto, giving up on trying to save him from embarrassment, since he had already ripped that band-aid off himself.  
“Then we’d still only receive one side of the story. A historian collects evidence and opinions from all sides to provide the context. We can’t just get anyone, they need to provide the information without bias. Without making their own thoughts known to make people think one way or another, whether accidentally or on purpose.” Tacking the last sentence on to then try to explain ‘bias’ to the blonde, Shikamaru really had no idea whether we had helped him or not. Tilting his head again to look at Kakashi and Tsunade, he saw them waiting for their moment to finish before carrying on, having obviously come to a conclusion.

“A historian is a good idea. The next question is where to find the right one.”  
Sighing at the end of the Hokage’s statement, it was pretty obvious Kakashi would always just be seen as a peer to Sasuke, having the nerve to let a glimpse of his boredom into the stare he sent back as well.

“There’s one in Ku-ring-gai, about a day's journey outside of the village wall. Send word for me when you plan to go see her. I’ll go along and introduce you.” And with that last remark, Sasuke had felt his point had been made, and so stood and made his way to the door.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A few days later, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Shizune waited at the village gates in front of Tsunade, getting last orders before heading out on their mission.

“While this mission only equates to a C rank, please remember that you’re representing the village. People in small towns might still be on edge, and we can’t afford to make any fatal blows just because we get caught off guard.” The three shinobi made variants of an affirmative response, but Tsunade still felt she had needed to make the statement.  
“While you’re there, scout the area just to make sure no one has grievances against her that may make moving her to the village an inconvenience. Now, travel safely.”  
And with a nod from two of the three, they turned and started walking past the gate and towards the forest ahead.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Shizune had trouble keeping up with the two men ahead of her; the Uchiha being faster and not considering slowing down to accommodate his team, making the Nara speed up as well, purely to prove that he shouldn’t be looked down upon.  
Sighing, the lone woman pushed more chakra into her legs to speed up to the men, despising the testosterone that was oozing from them as she got close.

“Sasuke, how did you come across this woman?”  
Giving Shizune a side glance over his shoulder, he turned ahead and started retelling the way he had met the young woman.

_“Excuse me! Sir!”_  
_Sasuke continued walking, assuming that the yelling was towards one of the dozen or so men surrounding him in the small food market. Hearing the small sounds behind him of people being jostled out of the way, he stepped to the side to look at the vegetables the farmer was selling, letting the woman either pass or come towards him. Unfortunately, he found out he was right to have the bad feeling that the shouting was directed at him._

_Swerving at the last second to go behind the farmer’s stall and jostle the owner to the side, she leaned over the vegetables with her hand out._  
_“You’re the Uchiha, right! Please tell me I’m not just seeing things.”_  
_Staring at her hand he gingerly lifted his hand to shake hers, only letting her share one bump of the handshake before pulling his hand away. He didn’t sense any hostility from the short woman, but he wasn’t willing to entertain her further. Luck did seem to evade him that day, as the woman rushed to follow him as he turned to leave, only stopping briefly to apologise to the irate farmer shooing her away from behind the stall._

_Squeezing her way between him and other customers browsing the stalls, she fiddled with her fingers as she tilted her head up to make eye contact with him, not able to hide the anxiety in her eyes._  
_“I’m really sorry, but I’d really like to talk with you if you have the time.” He heard a couple knuckles crack as she squeezed them together, “I’m happy to pay for your food in exchange.”_  
_Giving her a once over, he couldn’t feel much chakra from her, only the small amount that all creatures are born with. She definitely couldn’t take him out if she wanted to, probably couldn’t even land a hit, and in her floral day dress and heeled sandals, she definitely wasn’t prepared to engage in a fight if he chose to initiate one._  
_“How did you know who I am.” Facing ahead again, glancing slightly to look at each stall they passed, he felt the woman’s nerves lift slightly with the shoulder that occasionally bumped his arm._  
_“Your cape flew up at the side slightly with the wind and I saw the fan on your shoulder.”_  
_“Hm. What do you want?”_

_“I, uh, um,” The hands curl into fists and clench so her nails dig into her skin._

_“Just spit it out.”_

_“I want to know about your clan. Anything you’re willing to tell me.”_

_No one seemed to notice when Sasuke dragged the small girl between two stalls and into the mouth of an alleyway, the only sound had been a small squeak and the drag of shoes kicking up some dust. Pushing the woman against a wall, Sasuke crowds her space, the anxiety coming off her in waves, her body starting to shake with adrenaline._  
_“Why?”_

_Gulping before tilting her head down so she doesn’t meet his eyes, he can hear her stuttering and collecting her words. With the prey in front of him being so weak, Sasuke gave her the luxury of moving his leg back to lean slightly out of her space. A shaky exhale finally flows out of her mouth and he can hear the cogs in her brain work._  
_“I think the third hokage ordered the genocide of your family…”_

_Grabbing her chin and titling it up to forcibly bring her eyes to his, he could see the tears balance upon her lower lash line, but he could also see the conviction she forced to the front of her pupils._  
_“How did you know that?”_

_“It’s true?!” Confusion crossed his face, as surprise flooded hers. “It was just a theory, I have some evidence about it, but it’s only word of mouth from unreliable sources.”_  
_Sasuke stood back and watched as she crossed her arms, her eyes going back to the floor, but this time it was to concentrate her thoughts. Releasing her bottom lip from her teeth and meeting his eyes again, he saw the confidence of the woman who willingly ran up to a former-fugitive, willingly presenting her hand to him, return in full force._

_“Are you going to kill me?”_

_Letting out a scoff of a laugh, Sasuke turned his head to look out towards the market again._  
_“No.” A glance back at her before beginning to walk back out into the open. “You’re paying for my food first before I talk to you.”_

_He heard her gasp and felt her join his side once more as they entered the chaos of the market again._

“Who were these ‘unreliable’ sources?” Shizune queried.

“Apparently a lot of merchants and ninja from the leaf, both travelling and rogue, stop through the town. She’d over hear the idle gossip while she waitressed at a cafe near the edge of town. The kinds of places people talk in the corners thinking they aren’t being watched.”

To the right of Sasuke, Shikamaru’s eyebrows furrowed. From his description, she didn’t have any fighting potential. Possibly some self defence, but nothing in the face of a rogue who might have figured out their waitress was loitering a little closer than needed, but she must have still stayed a while to be able to put together the theory that the Uchiha clan had been assassinated by the village. And then being confident enough in that intel that she brought it up to the last remaining member of that clan, a man infamously associated with violence and a quick temper? Yes he had been on probation at the time, but it was in the back of the minds of even his comrades that he might snap again. He could only imagine that worry in the mind of a civilian.

The other less important note in his mind was how the Uchiha never mentioned her begging for her life. He had intimidated her and pushed her against a wall, and yet, she had just asked. No word of crying, or pleading, or shaking as she did it. ‘Are you going to kill me’. A woman in search of information. Would he kill her or not. Yes or no.  
The young man would be lying if he said he wasn’t interested in seeing who this woman was. A woman who stood up to Sasuke Uchiha and got her way on the first try. If any of the girls he knew ever heard, they’d turn green with the envy flowing in their veins.

Jumping between the branches, the three ninja stayed silent for the rest of the journey, keeping their eyes fixed ahead towards the small town ahead. As it came into view, they jumped down to the forest floor and turned inwards to face each other. The sun was just about to start dipping below the horizon, turning the clouds shades of orange and pink.

Taking a look up towards the sky and taking a second to admire the colours, Shikamaru started offering options to the group, glancing to Shizune for his answers. “We should try and introduce ourselves before nightfall, hopefully meaning we can hit the road earlier tomorrow. Are we camping like planned, or do you want to find somewhere to stay in town?”

“Depending on how it looks after we introduce ourselves to her, one of us could split off and look for accommodation.” Shizune said, then turning to Sasuke. “Since Shikamaru and I have the details of the job, are you willing to be the one to look for somewhere to stay if it looks like she’s okay being left behind with us?”

“Fine.” The one word answer seemed to be the only input they’d get out of him, so the three continued ahead to enter the small town.

Walking into the heart of Ku-ring-gai, Shikamaru could see the spots along the street where the market Sasuke had mentioned must get set up, the sun baking the stone around many identical squares a slightly darker grey, the lighter spots having been protected from the rays by the wooden stalls.  
As they walked, he only saw one alley that could have fit two people in it, the roofs above the space making it dark compared to the sun filled market space. Picturing a small woman pushed up against one of the sides, looking up towards a darkly dressed man towering over her, and yet she didn’t say a word or scream to attract the dozens of people around her. Was she that confident in Sasuke not hurting her? Was talking to him so important that she thought probable harm was worth it?

The questions continued amounting in his head as they followed Sasuke to an apartment building a few blocks from the center of town. Pushing the front door open, Sasuke continued walking confidently through the hallway, going up a flight of stairs to the next floor, and walked along until they reached a door marked ‘17’. Shikamaru and Shizune both took a polite step back from the door and Sasuke raised his hand and knocked.

A few beats past before Sasuke banged his fist against the door. Yelling followed it, getting ever closer to the door.

“I’m coming! Trying not to, ugh, whatever! Which dick is it th- Sasuke?!”  
A woman opened the door in a short sleeved shirt and sweatpants bunched up to her knees, eyes glowing bright when she saw the Uchiha at her door. Swinging it further open, she covered the few feet between her and Sasuke and wrapped her arms around his neck. When he struggled, she only pulled tighter.

“You punched my door, let me have this,” she said, clinging tightly around the statue that vaguely still resembled Sasuke, the only reaction he showed from the display of affection being a low grunt and pushing his shoulders down slightly to accommodate her height.

The person in front of Shikamaru wasn’t really what he expected, not that he knew what to expect. Her brown roots were showing at her scalp before transitioning to a fading blue, and when Sasuke said she was short, he expected his eyes meeting her forehead if they were standing straight, but he estimated she’d probably be below his field of vision. How had she gone up against the short tempered Uchiha and still gotten her information? Sasuke could barely be civil to the people he grew up with, nonetheless a woman that looks as if she’d be the kind to cause both men needless headaches.

As she released the poor boy in front of her, she pushed Sasuke to the side slightly to see who was behind him. Crossing her arms so she held onto her elbows, the woman stood straight, took a beat to scan her eyes across them, and then smiled towards Shikamaru and Shizune.  
“Hi, I’m Athena. What does Konoha need me for?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback a lot of you have left me and for giving me kudos. It really means a lot!
> 
> From here on out, I should be able to post a new chapter every Wednesday, so please keep leaving your thoughts of what you do and maybe don't like so I can hopefully write a dumb, happy lil' story you all will love.
> 
> Stay safe, wear a mask, I love you.

Stepping into Athena’s apartment, Shikamaru felt a sense of comfort, willing him to let his guard down. She had some blankets sloppily thrown over the length of her couch, cushions piled on one end with a uniform dip in the middle, showing their constant usage, with no less than three notebooks strewn over the table beside it.  
Two bookshelves stood on the wall adjacent to the door, and he was surprised to recognise some of the titles. She had some basic ninja textbooks he remembered from his days at the academy, as well as books about the creation of chakra and the making of jutsu. Some travel books for the five major villages also sat on a shelf, laying on their sides to keep the other books before it from toppling over. 

“I don’t really have much, but would you like some tea?” 

Athena’s voice interrupted Shikamaru’s subtle investigation as she called to the Shinobi from behind her fridge door, scanning for anything she could offer them.  
“Oh no, I think we’re fine,” Shizune said, smiling politely while also trying to get a good look around the space.

“Sasuke, do you want water?”

Shikamaru had almost forgotten that the Uchiha was there, having to follow Athena’s glance towards one of the two armchairs next to the couch where he had made himself at home. Sasuke met her eyes and gave a grunt of affirmation.  
“You can get it yourself if you’re not going to use your words.” Slamming the fridge door shut and facing Sasuke with her hands on her hips. 

The glare Sasuke gave Athena was reflected back until he turned his head with a click of his tongue.  
“Please.”

As soon as the word left his lips, Athena’s hand flew to her forehead with a dramatic gasp.  
“Oh my! He’ll surely die quickly, he said the ‘p’ word!”

Shikamaru snapped his head to catch the end of Sasuke’s move to bow his head away from view, only just catching the tip of his bright red ear before his hair covered it. Shizune just stayed in shock as she faced Athena, watching as her face dropped back to a neutral expression after rolling her eyes. Turning to a cupboard and getting three glasses out and setting them on the opposite counter, they could all hear her loudly muttering about Sasuke’s lack of manners towards his hostess.

As Shikamaru and Shizune picked up their now full glasses of water, only Shikamaru caught the wink Athena aimed at him, before walking to Sasuke and handing him the glass without another word.

Athena sat in the corner of the couch with the cushions, trying to gently move them to allow her to sit up without completely destroying her perfect mountain. After letting her sit first to gauge positions, Shizune was quick to take the armchair closest to her, leaving Shikamaru to sit on the other end of the couch between Athena and Sasuke. 

“I’ll cut to the chase. With the leaf’s new leadership in place, the new Hokage has made it a priority to find out what the former village elders kept secret from even the past Hokages. Things such as the killing of the Uchiha clan, which we understand you have already researched in the past.” 

“No, I never researched that.” Athena said innocently, cutting Shizune off from beginning her next sentence.

Letting a beat pass as Shizune and Shikamaru arched their brows and focused their attention solely on her, Shikamaru could’ve sworn he heard Sasuke let an amused scoff leave his throat as he kept his head tilted towards the bookcases.

Timing it right so Shizune had just opened her mouth to question her, Athena’s face settled into a serious expression that looked foreign upon her compared to the bright smiles and dramatic expressions they had seen before.

“Do you mean the Uchiha Genocide? Because I’ve done lots of research into that monstrosity.”  
Shikamaru heard how Athena’s voice dropped a few decibels and saw the look in her eye as she shifted them to look at him, gauging his reaction, and in that moment he realised exactly why Sasuke trusted her so much.  
The look in her eyes was sharp, making him feel like she was slicing his head open to inspect his brain. For a moment his brain entertained the idea that he was under a jutsu like the Yamanaka clans’. Shikamaru had only allowed Ino to use it on him a few times, when it was necessary, but this felt different. He didn’t feel pressured, like she’d squeeze the organ until his secrets dripped out. He wanted to give them to her, let his mouth run and never try to stop it. It wasn’t a hostile rage he felt projected at him, it was unadulterated righteousness concentrated in her irises. Everything in his body was reacting to her. To her conviction, her want for justice, her need to cut through the bullshit of their bureaucracy. Before he knew it, his mouth was letting words escape that he couldn’t remember choosing.

“You’re right. It was a genocide. We want to get rid of the secrecy around events like the assassination the Third Hokage ordered on the Uchiha Clan. We can’t let Itachi Uchiha remain the only face of it. But we also can’t show our entire history to the neighbouring villages, as they aren’t expected to show their hand to us. Every village has done things too egregious to be brought to the public’s knowledge. If this information isn’t handled properly the Land of Fire could lose its strength within a day.” 

Sasuke watched as Shikamaru’s posture started to ease and he started turning and leaning into Athena, her mimicking his body language and letting her face soften in response.  
He and Shizune shared a brief glance before looking back at the pair.

“During the war it was made clear that we need to allow more of the village’s history to be available to its citizens. Whether they want to access it is up to their own discretion, but we can’t keep pretending that the village wasn’t built atop graves.” Shikamaru finished, only just beginning to process what he had said and how close he had come to Athena.  
As silence settled in the room, Shizune and Sasuke occasionally shared quick glances to see who would break the tension, if they should break it at all.

Luckily, the decision was taken out of their hands as a loud squeal came from under the couch, causing everyone but Sasuke to jump.  
Quickly dipping her head to look under the couch, Athena locked eyes with the culprit and made clicking noises towards him.  
From under the couch, a large black and white cat slid out from underneath, being sure to rub along Athena’s leg, before trotting towards the kitchen to sit and continue his squealing.

“Shit. Sorry, I forgot to feed him.” Athena said as she scrambled to get up and follow the cat to the kitchen. Hearing the sound of dry cat food being poured in the background, Shizune took this chance to grab Shikamaru’s attention and send him a questioning look. All she received in return was a confused expression before he turned his head towards the floor. 

Athena returned to the couch, but stumbled slightly before leaning on the arm rest, trying to establish some distance to keep her mind clear.  
“So what would my role be in all that?”

Shizune was quick to start talking before Shikamaru could give Athena more leverage in the discussion.  
“We need someone to process all of the information in the archives, summarise what’s important, before the Hokage and his advisors,” A quick glance thrown at the Nara man who was still looking at the floor, twisting his earring as he avoided her show of dominance. “-Decide what needs to be given a full write up. The documents will most likely be lengthy and you will need to abide by any guidelines or restrictions placed on the information, and you will of course be trusted to take any secrets not deemed ready for public consumption to yourself. If you’re considering this job seriously, I’m happy to run through some parts of the contract with you now?”

Athena looked towards the kitchen and tapped her fingers along her thigh, before crossing her arms and addressing Shizune again. “Yeah, show me what I’d be getting into.”

As Shizune looked towards the pockets on her chest, she tried to keep her voice neutral as she grabbed a scroll.  
“Sasuke, you should go find us somewhere to stay tonight before it gets too late.” Hearing only one man get to their feet, she continued. “Shikamaru will come with you.”

Shikamaru sighed before rising to his feet alongside Sasuke, thankful that he would at least be able to get some fresh air before inevitably hearing more about how he had handled his part of the conversation.  
As Sasuke opened the door and went out towards the hallway, Shikamaru took one last glance towards Athena, only just catching the sight of her teeth biting her bottom lip as they locked eyes, before she turned back towards Shizune. What Shikamaru did miss however, was that as he turned and closed the door behind him, Athena looked back up to watch him leave.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As they left the building, Shikamaru and Sasuke were quick to fall instep with each other as they headed back to the heart of the village.  
It wasn’t long however until Shikamaru felt eyes on his back, giving a side glance to Sasuke, he saw no change in his companion’s demeanor.

“If you don’t feel it, then you aren’t as good a ninja as I thought you were.” Shikamaru said, raising his head high and continuing to look straight ahead. He walked alongside Sasuke in silence as they rounded a corner and walked a few feet further before the Uchiha finally stopped.  
“Eros.” He said blankly, continuing to stare ahead. When there was no movement, Sasuke raised his arm and tapped his left shoulder a few times, and within seconds Athena’s cat jumped atop his shoulder. 

Sasuke waited for the cat to settle in a position before continuing forward towards an inn within the center of town. Looking at their new companion, Shikamaru was amused to see slitted pupils staring back at him with its tail held high.

“Eros, huh?” A high chirp responded back, opening his mouth slightly, letting Shikamaru look at his fangs before they returned to their spot, gently overhanging his bottom lip slightly.

“He’s named after an angel or something like that.” Sasuke said aloud, continuing to accommodate Eros’s weight upon him.  
With a small noise of acknowledgement from Shikamaru, the 3 boys continued walking towards the front door of the inn.

A plump old woman turned when the bell atop the door rang to greet her new guests, her face lighting up when she saw the cat sitting on Sasuke’s shoulder.  
“Oh Eros!” She exclaimed, moving from behind the desk and reaching her hands up to scratch at his jaw, resulting in loud purrs erupting from his chest. “Are you on an adventure with these men? Are you keeping an eye on them for your mummy? What a good boy, looking out for her like that!” Eros dipped his head in reply, letting the woman kiss his forehead (while Sasuke craned his neck as far as he could away from the pair) before walking back behind the desk.  
Giving the human men a once over, her smile faded into a look of motherly concern.  
“What has Athena done this time to warrant a leaf ninja meeting with her? Nevermind, I don’t want to know. I’ll trust Eros’s judgement, it’ll keep all of us out of trouble.” Looking down towards the guest book in front of her, she asked, “Is it just the one night you two are staying?”

“Yes, but another person will join us.” Shikamaru responded.

Looking up with wide eyes, a blush painting her cheeks, she asked, “Is Athena joining you?”

“No, we aren’t guests of hers.” Sasuke replied, focusing his intimidating stare towards the woman. Shikamaru glanced between them as the woman frantically stared down at her book and scribbled their details along the lines.

Turning and retrieving a key from behind her, the woman kept her eyes from meeting theirs, staring just over their shoulders to appear polite. Shikamaru took the key, and as he thanked her, Eros jumped down off of Sasuke’s shoulder onto the desk in front of them, leaving the remaining two men to head to their allocated room alone. He only paused for a moment when he had thought he had heard a hiss-ing noise, but as Sasuke continued ahead without reaction, Shikamaru chose not to question it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Why did you glare at the inn keeper?” Shikamaru asked, leaning next to the window as Sasuke released his hawk to guide Shizune to their accommodation.

Glancing towards the other man, Sasuke walked over to the adjacent wall to Shikamaru and sat up against it.  
“Athena has used her body to get information a few times. That woman would’ve gossiped as soon as we turned our backs. Who’s to say she won’t still.”

Shikamaru looked towards the ground. It wasn’t uncommon for Kunoichi to seduce men for mission purposes, but thinking of Athena going into a locked room with dangerous men, unable to determine if she’d come back out didn’t sit well in his stomach.  
He wasn’t sure what answer he was more scared of receiving but he had to ask his teammate.

“Did you-?”

“No.”

Letting out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding, Shikamaru looked back out the window before pulling out his lighter and a cigarette, swiftly lighting the tobacco and inhaling the smoke.

“You saw her eyes. Are you really still questioning why I gave her information and suggested her to Kakashi?” Pursing his lips and blowing the smoke out the window, Shikamaru mulled over Sasuke’s words. He did see her eyes. He did believe that her conviction was the reason Sasuke trusted her so deeply, even if the man was too proud to say it aloud. Then what was the gut feeling he had that he couldn’t shake.  
Tapping the burnt ash off his cigarette, Shikamaru leant on the window sill and watched the clouds.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Watching as Shizune walked down the hallway away from her front door, anxiety started to creep up Athena’s spine as the adrenaline of having strangers in her home left her body.  
Still leaning against the open door in a daze, she’s brought back by Eros sneaking his way back in past her legs, earning himself an eye roll from his owner before she finally closes the door.

Sitting back on her couch, she stared at the tightly wound scroll placed obnoxiously atop her notebooks. It looked innocent enough, but when Shizune had unwound it, it had been long enough to run across the width of her apartment. Trying to gather her thoughts together, Athena gazed towards her bookshelves, only for her eyes to drop downwards towards the spot where Shikamaru had sat not too long ago.

Stupid thoughts started running through her head as she subtly shuffled across so, if the man had still been there, their thighs would have been touching. If she was honest with herself, if Sasuke and Shizune had come alone, it would have taken a lot more negotiations to get her to consider. From living so close to the Leaf Village, and paying attention to the people who fled it, she had a pretty negative view of the village. A small boy living in his parents house, alone, just days after his whole family was massacred? The newborn son of the Hokage being shunned and left an orphan, when he was the single saviour who housed the fox spirit that tormented the village? It’s treatment of women like her, who weren’t shinobi and who weren’t content with making ‘marriage’ the solution to all of her problems? There wasn’t a single thing that made her want to accept their offer, especially knowing that Sasuke also did what he could to stay away.

But then, unfortunately, that ‘single thing’ manifested next to her within minutes. Athena knew she fell hard, and quick, for smart people, people in positions of authority doing good with the power they had been given. She knew she was a notorious flirt to encourage people to like her quickly and without much question, but Shikamaru had really thrown her through a loop.

Staring at the scroll, she thought about letting Eros out with the scroll and a note saying she wasn’t interested, saving herself face and protecting herself from being talked into accepting the job, trying not to let a man be the reason she threw away her morals. But, the way he talked about the village? The ashamed look in his eyes as he acknowledged that they had much to change, but still kept his eyes on hers, showing that he believed they’d fix it? Make it a better place? It made her want to say yes. To be a part of the team that saved Konoha.

Releasing a loud groan and throwing her head into her hands, she knew she needed a distraction, and she only had one distraction that would reset her mind and wipe it blank for a while.

Standing back up, looking over her shoulder towards the opposite side of the couch she had already gazed at long enough, she shook her head and walked towards her bedroom. Stripping her clothes into a pile and closing the bedroom door, more for her own peace of mind than anything else, before sitting on the bed and laying her head on the pillows.

Closing her eyes, she cycled through her usual attractions, all brave men and women from books that always made her swoon and feel warm. As she settled one hand on her sternum, under her breasts, and the other on the pouch of her stomach, she thought of the strong, Faye man that had recently been at the forefront of her mind for the past few times she had these moments alone. Pretending her hands belonged to his, ‘he’ moved his hand down to her thigh and scratched his way up to her sex, before swapping hands and giving the other thigh the same treatment only, this time, his fingers slipped between her lips to feel how wet she had gotten. His hand tracing its way lightly up to her clit and drifting across it, lightly tugging on the hood as the calloused finger ran over it.

Quickly growing restless with the slow pace, Athena groped one of her breasts and slid her nail over her hardening nipple before pinching it. With her other hand becoming her own again, she reached into her side table drawer and pulled out one of the toys she greatly appreciated for times like these.  
Placing the pulsating toy on her clit, she closed her eyes as it became the man’s mouth as she turned it on. His lips began suckling on her clit, in an even beat, making a small whine escape from her throat. With a push of a button, the suckling turned into breathtaking, passionate sucking as her mind went blank and her hips started to gently push up into his mouth. She reached her unoccupied hand down to her thigh, lightly scratching her skin, but as her mind continued to grow wild, she imagined looking down to grab the man’s hair, only to be met with almond-shaped eyes staring back at her. 

Actually opening her eyes this time, she looked between her legs just to check, feeling flustered and dumb-founded, like she had lost control of herself. Quickly, she slammed her head back to her pillow and turned her toy up with a moan, trying to shock her brain into submission, but when she closed her eyes, his eyes continued to stare back at her with a glimmer in them, like he knew. Like somehow, blocks away from her corporeal body, he knew what he was doing to her, watching her squirm from some unknown vantage point.  
Before she could think much further into her insane theory, she felt her thighs and abdomen start to clench, feeling the muscles tighten as her slick ran down onto the sheets underneath her. As the lust took over her brain fully, she let her mind run wild, trusting it to get her where she needed to be. Fortunately, her brain knew her all too well as the hand laying on her thigh rose to grab a handful of her own hair and tug, pulling her head as deep into the pillow as it could go before releasing and running nails down her neck, taking time to pinch bits of skin that made her want to beg. 

A deep part of her brain was thinking about the hickeys she’d have to cover that wouldn’t end up blooming under her skin, the bite marks that wouldn’t litter her thighs that would’ve made her clench around nothing any time she saw them. Logic left her as all too suddenly the man between her legs was also above her, staring through her closed eyelids and leaning closer until their lips almost brushed against each other, until her orgasm came and wiped her brain clean, a feral cry racing out of her throat. Only the nerves between her legs stayed functioning as the fog in her head took its sweet time subsiding, until finally Athena could turn her toy off and the pressure in all of her muscles loosened.

Gently swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and putting weight into her feet, Athena wobbled over to the bedroom door to open it for Eros, before returning to bed, chucking her toy under her other pillows to keep it away from him, and snuggling into her duvet as her eyes closed for the final time that night.

Eros, however, had left through an open window and trotted back to the Inn, scaled the roof, and peeked through a window, just in time to watch Shikamaru wake up and run his hand over his lips, a phantom wetness still coating them. Feeling the pressure between his legs, he checked his teammates were asleep before quietly walking to the bathroom to get some unquestioned time alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to realise my chapter titles are a little shit 🙈

Knocking on Athena’s door shouldn’t have made Shikamaru as anxious as it did, but after his dream the previous night, he wasn’t sure how he was meant to face her, nonetheless in a somewhat professional manner. He had tried to avoid having to see her again, but Shizune insisted he go as she wanted to go to the markets for medicinal herbs. He had thought about trying to persuade Sasuke to accompany him, but even the Uchiha had found something else more worthy of his time. 

The door opened to reveal a disheveled Athena, eyes still crusted with sleep, and Eros perched on her shoulder. Upon looking up to meet Shikamaru’s eyes, she squeaked in surprise and jolted Eros from his perch.

“Umm, good morning…” Athena said, averting her eyes over her shoulder, watching Eros as he sat behind her, ever the vigilant guard.

“Morning.” Shikamaru was ashamed he couldn’t even meet her eyes, plunging his fists as deep into his pockets as they could go. “Shizune wanted to know if you had signed the contract.”

“Uh, yeah. I, uh, had a couple questions, if you don’t mind coming in for a few minutes.” Stepping to the side, Athena held her own hand and tilted her head down as Shikamaru nodded and walked into her home once more. 

Walking over to the kitchen, with Shikamaru trailing after her, Athena led him towards the scroll that was unfurled along her kitchen counter, multiple books and mugs surrounding it in any unoccupied spaces. She was quick to pick up a set of reading glasses that were left unfolded atop the written ink, and push them along the bridge of her nose as she began skimming through the contract with her finger to find the words she needed.

“Here. It says that I’ll be given a ‘curse mark’ to keep me from disclosing village secrets.” Athena said, before lifting her head to meet Shikamaru’s eyes. “Which is fine, I get why, but can you tell me any more about it? How it’ll be given to me, where it’ll be placed, things like that.”

Shikamaru tried so hard to stop his bottom lip from slipping under his teeth. He could feel it as it happened, but his mind couldn’t stray from the way her eyes looked at him behind her glasses. It took everything in him to stay on his side of her kitchen when he saw the glint of fear portrayed in her eyes as she met his, especially as he felt like his hands would corrupt her after what he had done with them as he touched himself to thoughts of her only a few hours beforehand. 

“I don’t know exactly what mark they’ll use, but I can assume it’ll be placed on the back of your tongue. It should be quick, but I can’t tell you if it’ll be painless or not.” The instant he brought up the subject of the pain it could inflict, he watched as Athena turned her head away and folded her arms, trying to place a barrier in front to protect herself, and a part of the gesture broke him a little. 

“Because you aren’t a threat to the village, they might be able to do it painlessly, but I don’t know. Sorry.” His apology sounded forced to his own ears, purely because he felt he was apologising for the wrong thing. Shikamaru desperately wanted to tell Athena he’d do all he could to protect her from harm, but he knew he couldn’t. He would be nothing more to her than a supervisor, like he’d been to so many other people. He couldn’t start picking favourites now.

Athena let the silence between the two of them grow. She should’ve signed the contract, given it to him, and let him be on his way as she started to pack the most important parts of her life into boxes, but she desperately wanted to cherise these last few moments of them being, somewhat, equals. She had to put an end to it though, no matter how much she wanted to flirt her way out of the stifling tension between them.

As she stepped forward however, she felt her brain crash against the back of her skull, as if it was a second behind her body. Her vision went black for a second as she flung her arms to grab the counter behind her. Shikamaru was too focused on the thoughts spiraling through his head to watch her wobble, until Eros cried loudly from behind him on the adjacent counter, shocking him into standing straight on his feet and focusing his eyes back onto Athena’s slumping body.

Something primal ran through the nerves in his brain, prompting Shikamaru to cross the distance between himself and Athena and placing his hands on the smallest part of her waist. Athena responded in kind and firmly wrapped her hands around his forearms, slightly leaning into his form as she let her heart and blood pressure stabilize.

“Hey, hey, I’ve got you. What’s happening?” Shikamaru asked.

“Just blacked out for a second. It happens sometimes. I’m okay.” Even if Athena sounded calm and collected, Shikamaru wasn’t ready to let her go, and if the pressure of her fingers around his arms were anything to go by, neither was she. Never letting his arms move from her waist, afraid to break the solid connection they had, Shikamaru bent his torso until he could press his forehead against hers, applying a slight pressure to encourage her head to tilt up until their hooded eyes met. 

Athena loosened her grip on his forearms slightly so she could trail her hands up to lightly hold onto his biceps, just above his elbows, taking his sleeves with her. Shikamaru responded by gently walking his fingertips along her waist until they lay more securely on her back. 

The all-important scroll now lay unattended as the two of them inched closer, both sets of eyes slipping down to watch the others’ lips. Athena straightened her back and rose onto the balls of her feet as Shikamaru pulled her closer with the hands now splayed across her back, unabashedly curling his fingers slightly into the fabric of her shirt.

Just as their breath started to mingle, their eyes beginning to slip closed, a loud screech shocked them both. Athena’s instinct was to jump away from the noise, but she was stopped by Shikamaru’s instinct to protect as he tightened his hold on her back, only releasing one of his hands in case he had to grab for a weapon. Eros, however, had already begun his personal attack on the hawk perched on the open window sill, hissing and making blind swipes, balancing on his hind legs as long as they’d let him.

“Eros!” Athena shouted, slipping from Shikamaru’s grasp as she ran towards the squabbling animals. “It’s okay! That’s Sasuke’s hawk!”

With a few more passing hisses towards the bird, Eros was quick to run back towards the kitchen to start squealing at Shikamaru’s feet, trying to get his human mother’s attention back to where it was before they were interrupted.

Shikamaru glanced towards Athena as she leant against the back of her couch, holding one of her hands to her head as she slowly got her bearings again before standing straight and walking to the hawk to give him a few gentle strokes along the feathers of his chest.

Flicking her eyes back to glance at Shikamaru, the anxiety growing in her stomach led her to hurry back to the scroll still laying unfurled on her counter, using it to quickly distract herself by doing a final skim of the contract’s terms before signing where it was needed, blotting the ink slightly, and rerolling the scroll before turning and presenting it towards the still flustered man across from her. He took it, proud that his hands remained steady while his heart raced furiously, and tried desperately to remember the other details he needed to relay to her.

Unbeknownst to both of them, their thoughts mirrored each other, both searching for a reason to force the atmosphere to return to the way it was moments before. Shikamaru stared at her hand, desperate to pull her back towards him. Athena was staring at the floor, wondering if she was brave enough to race towards him, wondering if he’d catch her as she jumped atop him, as she smashed their lips together. Eros sat between both of them, keeping silent as he watched both of their brains work against each other. 

“Uh, someone will come collect you and your things in a few days. If you need help with any last minute things, they should be able to help you.” Shikamaru muttered, looking over his shoulder to stare at the hawk that was still watching the pair.

“You won’t be with them?” Did Athena curse herself in her own head as the question came out of her mouth? She did. Very loudly. Enough to put a sailor to shame.

“Nah, don’t wanna make you sick of me before you actually have to see me everyday.” Making his way towards her front door, he knew he had to get out so he could get out of her presence. He did, however, get a small kick of joy as he heard her pick up her pace to try and reach the door before him. 

Slightly slowing to let her go ahead of him so she could open the door did mean that he heard Athena mumble under her breath, “I don’t think that’s even possible.” 

Athena opened the door to let him out, both of them shyly smiling at the other as Shikamaru crossed the threshold, content to get out of each other’s space quickly so they could both think clearly. Athena’s mouth apparently skipped over the message as she blurted, “Well, see you at work then,  _ sir _ ,” just as the door closed.

Shikamaru reacted by freezing where he stood just outside of her door, while Athena reacted by quickly locking the door, pressing her body up against it, and staring at Eros as he watched this owner’s eyes widen. The large cat reacted by turning his head, intent to continue his grumbling at the hawk that had taken the awkward moment to turn and flee from the mess it had created.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A few days passed and Athena was grabbing the last few things she wanted to put aside to have easy access to for her trip as she heard the anxiously awaited knock on her front door.

Eagerly opening it, she was met with two men and a very smug Eros greeting her with a loud  _ prrp  _ sound before sauntering through the door. Watching him trot away, Athena knew he was using their guests against her so she wouldn’t yell at him. Facing the men again, she gave them the sweetest smile she could muster, fighting against her exhaustion and anxiety.

“Hi there! I’m Athena, and I’m assuming you’re the guys taking me to the hidden leaf village, right?”

“Yeah! It’s nice to meet you, I’m Choji Akimichi.” The first man said, holding his hand out towards her. His height and width scared Athena slightly as his shadow engulfed her small form, but his smile eased her as she clasped hands with him, her anxiety dwindling further as her grip held slightly stronger against his.

Next to Choji, the blonde man was quick to detach his hands from the back of his head to offer one to her as well, his smile equally placating her anxiety to the back of her head.

“I’m Naruto Uzumaki!” He said, as they shook hands, his grip being too light and dainty against her trained grip. Behind her smile, she was a little bit starstruck, having read his name multiple times throughout the last couple years. 

As Athena’s hand let Naruto’s go, Eros was quick to make his introduction from the couch further within the apartment, letting out a high pitched  _ meow  _ to remind the new guests of his presence. 

Extending her arm to invite the men in, Athena stepped to the side to allow Naruto to quickly walk up to the cat and gently pet his head as Eros began letting out deep purrs from his chest, instantly enjoying the service he was receiving.

“This cat is super cute! He met us at the front door of the building and led us straight to you!” Naruto exclaimed, never breaking his gaze from the feline. 

“Thanks, hopefully he stays as helpful when we’re on the road. His name is Eros, by the way.” Upon learning his name from Athena, Naruto started adding Eros’s name into the whispered praises towards him.

Choji and Athena stood for a moment as Eros continued to let Naruto fawn over him before Athena decided to begin the process of leaving her apartment. 

“So, where do we start?” She asked, turning and craning her head towards Choji as she clapped her hands together. Choji responds with a kind smile as he reaches into his pocket to retrieve a couple of scrolls.

“All we need to do is place these scrolls over each other and place your things within the circle to be sealed away.” As he explained this, Choji found a spot on her floor and unrolled the scrolls on top of the other, revealing a full sealing circle made out of the two halves on each scroll. Kneeling beside the scrolls, Choji signaled Naruto to pass him one of the many boxes strewn around the three of them. As the blonde left him to pick up the first box, Eros was quick to jump along the available surfaces until he landed in Athena’s arms, letting her rearrange him so he sat like a child on her hip so the pair of them could watch their guests work.

Watching as Naruto handed one of her small boxes of books to Choji so he could place it in the center of the sealing circle shouldn’t have felt as nerve wracking to Athena as it actually did. She didn't have time to quieten her paranoid mind however as she saw Choji bite into the skin of his thumb until it bled, smearing that bloody thumb along the side of the scroll, before making a hand sign and placing both hands atop of the box, both boys watching calmly as the box disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

As Choji stood back up, satisfied that the seal worked properly, he held back a chuckle after seeing Athena, stood with Eros in her arms, mouth slightly agape and brows furrowed. Taking the brief moment to look Athena over while she didn’t seem to be paying attention to him, Choji could agree with what he’d heard about her being quite cute, and she seemed nice from the few words they had exchanged in the past 10 or so minutes, but Choji was busting to learn more about her. Athena definitely had to be something for his lazy best friend to quietly pull Choji aside and ask him to look after her, turning his head to try and disguise the bright blush blooming under his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little shorter than I wanted it to be, but next chapter we're on our way to Konoha! I'll be establishing some more character details for Athena in that chapter, but once we're in Konoha in chapter 5, we'll go right back to Shikamaru and Athena getting hella flustered around each other.  
> See you guys next week! x


	4. Chapter 4

As Athena walked towards the edge of town, flanked by two shinobi, Eros happily sitting in his carrier which was slung over Naruto’s back, she really wasn’t worried about missing it. She’d always been a bit of an outsider. Dying her hair crazy colours, only coming out of her apartment about once a week, making chirpy conversation to those who talked to her before she shrugged into herself in silence as she made her way back to her apartment. The people around her called her trouble, but if asked, they didn’t really have a good reason as she learnt how to toe the line well. 

When she had needed to work to make ends meet, the small restaurant on the edge of town was the first place that said yes to hiring her, but she stayed much longer than she needed to because of the customers. It didn’t take her long to start recognising a merchant passing through from a shinobi either leaving the village for a mission, or leaving the village for good, and she started to enjoy the little bits of gossip they all gave. 

At first it was just merchants coming into town to have a bite to eat with a mistress before heading to an inn, subtly removing their wedding ring and placing it on a dish to be taken away, coming back the next morning to retrieve it, saying that it had simply slipped off. But when the first heavily scarred man came in, carrying a sleeping toddler in his arms, his hand on the back of his wife, she started to piece together bits of information that differed from the lectures given to her in school.

When Athena approached that first man to take their order, it wasn’t hard to deduce that the heavy scarring was from flames scorching his skin. When his child ran their finger along the wrinkled folds on his cheeks, she saw the way the man’s breathing deepened, the way his wife looked away and dabbed at tears starting to fall from her eyes. Between refreshing sugar pots and wiping down tables, she overheard the many times the woman asked her husband if it was right to leave the village, if he couldn’t just retire early and they’d live a normal life within the village they grew up in. The husband always shrugged her off, saying that they’d made their decision now and they couldn’t turn back. However, after Athena cleared their plates and refilled their coffees for the last time, the toddler having fallen asleep on their father’s shoulder, the man divulged that he’d been having nightmares where the scarred face he saw in the mirror took on the form of their child, equally scarred, sometimes the embers still flickering against his child’s skin. ‘I can’t let them grow up thinking that being a shinobi is the only goal they should always strive for, that having their face stitched back together on the dirty forest floor is just the way it is. And I’m not letting them grow up without a father like you and I did,’ the man had said, holding his child closer as his wife walked to the bathroom to cry out of sight as the images of her child started appearing in her head as well.

The last men she served came into the cafe wearing black coats, red clouds emblazoned on them. The one that stuck in her mind the most set his multi-pronged scythe against the wall before following her every move around the cafe. Whenever she had to interact with him, she let the adrenaline from her suffocated panic attack seep through, giving her enough ‘fight or flight’ energy to get her to smile politely at them and keep her tone civil. The most she ever heard from the other man at the table came when the scythe wielding man called her names like ‘sugar-tits’ and ‘sweet cheeks’, making his partner sigh exasperatedly, saying his name to try to show his disapproval. Hidan, as she learnt he was called, always responded the same,

“Nahhh, she likes it! Don’t you, sugar tits?” Every fake, girly giggle that came from her throat was stopping the scream that threatened to be released from the pit of her stomach.

She was rewarded for those giggles however, in the form of complacency whenever she leaned over their table, or walked by too many times. She suspected his partner noticed she was dawdling around them, but enough lingering glances towards Hidan’s bare chest seemed to deter him from questioning her, or worse.

The outcome of their complacency meant they never stopped their conversations around her, meaning she learnt far more than any civilian should about two lethal men in the span of an hour.

A small list of things she learnt that day that have never left her head included; the price of a shinobi and what made the price fluctuate, where to stab a man to get the most pleasure from the pain inflicted, a few intimate details of a failed assassionation on the first hokage that dated far further back than she wished to figure out, and that they had recently killed one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja but failed to take his body, meaning the sizeable bounty on his head couldn’t be collected, resulting in Hidan’s partner being snappier than usual, apparently. 

As the two men stood to take their leave, Hidan made a point to stalk towards her. She could hear him as he came, whistling cheerily. Athena tried so hard to keep her posture from shaking, focusing all of her attention on the cutlery she was polishing, trying to look too busy to sneak away for a quickie with a stranger. As she felt the air around her displace from his imposing figure standing directly behind her, his partner called for him.

“Hidan, we’re going. Now.”

“Awww, c’mon, I’ll be quick!”

“You’re never quick. Let’s go.”

The huff he let out lightly touched the ends of her hair before he pushed her ponytail to the side and leaned down towards her ear.

“Don’t worry, baby cakes. I’ll be back so we can have our fun.” He punctuated his comment with a swift, sharp smack on her bottom, forcing a squeak out of her throat. With a deep chuckle at her expense, Hidan then turned and left out the door with his partner, scythe nicking the top of the wooden door frame. 

As soon as they left, Athena caught the eye of the owner who had kept silent behind the counter through the whole ordeal and swiftly turned towards the bathroom where she promptly vomited bile and let the raging panic attack in her gut release, tears and snot flooding her face as screams and whimpers left her throat.

When she got in the shower that night, his handprint had bruised almost perfectly along her cheek, turning a deep, dark purple. The next day she handed in her two week notice, having had enough of searching for snippets of secrets within the conversations of criminals and outsiders. After handing in her notice, she locked herself away for a few days, shutting and locking all of her windows to protect her and her new 2 month old kitten.

The day after the incident, the owner of the cafe was quick to gossip about what had happened, not adding any of the valuable information she had learnt from their conversation, or how smart and brave she had been to not let her true emotions rattle her. Those who liked her just called her a lonely slut who picked the wrong target, those who didn’t threatened her with ‘exile’ from their small town, telling anyone who would listen how Athena was endangering them, poking her nose into criminal business. They screamed about how she’d bring all the shinobi to their town and they’d all get killed because she couldn’t just get married and quietly settle down like all the other women her age had before her.

The gossip quietened down when the town was notified that two Akatsuki members had been killed by leaf village ninja. With no viable threat on the way from her reckless actions, they had nothing to hate her for, so Athena took that time to further hide away in her apartment, dye her hair bright blue, and start writing down all the information she had gathered so her time working long, thankless shifts hadn’t been for nothing. She took these pieces and started writing a dissertation about The Third Hokage’s Legacy. 

As Naruto became the people’s hero, and Sasuke became more and more infamous, newspapers from all over the Land of Fire gave their own takes on both of the boys' childhoods. Most papers told the story of a village’s success in raising a child, with no mention to the slurs and hate that came from the mouths of the shinobi she had met, or how his parents' identities became a tightly kept secret from him. Equally, Sasuke was reported as the mirror image of his brother, with no mention of the village that let him down and pushed his family to the brink in the years prior to the massacre, or the curse mark placed upon him that fed on his natural aggression towards his brother and his adolescent spike in testosterone. 

When the war begun, she’d agreed to house ninja that ran from the frontline, in return, they either gave the information they already had, usually with the price of an intimate evening for the ‘good stuff’, or she assisted in their return to the village to steal dusty school books and archived newspapers from the Konoha Library.

By the time the war had ended and Athena had met Sasuke, the town had mostly forgotten ‘the incident’, but with Sasuke’s appearance most mornings from her front door, the town grew tense and angry again. 

Eros was the only thing that saved her from snide comments most days, his purr from her neck a quick way to a person’s heart, or at least a short distraction for the time it took her to buy her groceries each week.

Athena kept her head down. Wrote her paper. Sold what information she could. Barely survived some weeks. 

Though she disliked the Village Hidden in the Leaves with a quiet passion, she knew when Sasuke arrived at her door with two leaf shinobi that it was his quiet way of saying thank you for guiding him through creating a timeline of his brother’s life from the scraps of information they could get their hands on. The quiet need to gather forbidden information festered within her as Shizune explained the kinds of documents she’d be reading, noting that the village would handle her accommodation and give her a nice paycheck. Both of these factors quickly convinced her to seal the deal.

So Athena was leaving Ku-Ring-Gai, flanked by two leaf shinobi, Eros squealing for her from his carrier, which was slung over the shoulder of the Hero of the Hidden Leaf. She was leaving the small town as a historian personally appointed by the Sixth Hokage. She was leaving as someone who was being taken seriously.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Ugh!” Naruto yelled into the surrounding forest, walking slightly ahead of the group. “Remind me, why can’t we just go through the trees!”

“Naruto, calm down, she’s not a shinobi like us. Plus, we have plenty of time to get back to the village.” Choji responded, turning his head to face Athena, intending to give her a smile to assure her she wasn’t in any rush, but he stopped when he noticed her condition.

Athena was trying to hide her heavy breathing, but goosebumps had started erupting along her arms, and her face was going exceedingly pale. Noticing that the large man had stopped, Eros, who had been allowed out on a leash as a compromise between him and his mother, took this time to stop and sit down on the dirt, causing Athena to stop along with the pair as Eros’s leash went taut behind her. Turning to see the two worried sets of eyes watching her, she decided she really didn’t have the energy to give excuses to get either males to let her keep walking, so with multiple clicks of her legs and arms, she dropped her backpack and her body to the forest floor. 

Eros was the first to check on her, sticking his front paws between the back of her legs and the dirt beneath her, he started screaming and squealing until Athena bent her legs and curled them slightly into her body until her feet were off the ground. As Eros continued to run around Athena’s slightly shaking body, Choji had knelt down beside her head and Naruto was walking back to the pair after hearing their walking stop.

“Hey, you okay?” Naruto asked, leaning over Athena with his hands on his knees. Ignoring Naruto’s question, sensing that she wasn’t up to answering, Choji tried to remember what Ino usually did when she saw people in need.

“Can you speak? Or is that too much?” Choji received a slow shake of her head in response.

“Can you open your hand for yes and make a fist for no?” She removed one of her arms that were laying over her face and dropped it into Choji’s awaiting hand, opening her palm out so it lay flat against his.

“Do you need medical attention?” Her palm closed into a loose fist.

“Is this normal for you?” Palm unfurled to lay flat.

“Okay, do you need water?” Her palm remained flat, but as Naruto opened her bag to get her water bottle, Eros pawed at the inside of her bag until he touched the inside pocket, turning his head to Naruto as he made a few small squeaks. Following his lead, Naruto reached into the pocket and retrieved a few take away packets of salt, showing them to Choji with his brows furrowed.

“Do you need the salt?” Athena kept her palm flat but also gave a small nod of her head before placing her feet back on the ground and slowly started raising her body until her upper half was straight again, arms resting on her bent knees and Choji’s hand supporting her back.

Naruto was quick to pass her the water bottle and a few packets of the salt, and then the pair watched as she ripped open two of the salt packets and emptied their contents into her water, closing the lid and giving it a quick shake before finally raising it to her lips and taking a few gulps. 

“Sorry, I thought I’d be okay.” Athena muttered as she lowered the bottle, her voice only just loud enough for the boys to hear. As she lent forward to put her head between her knees, Choji kept his hand on her back as Eros put his face between her legs to see her face, making a very light giggle escape her.

“Can you tell us what happened?” Naruto asked, sitting cross legged beside her.

“Eh, my heart and blood kinda don’t work well together. It’s at its worst when I’m standing and walking for a long time. Makes me tired.” Athena explained, shrugging and trying to play it off as she ripped the third salt packet open and dumping all of it onto her tongue, letting it dissolve inside her mouth. “‘M sorry.”

“Can we make it easier for you? Do you need us to carry you?” And while Naruto offering to carry her was sweet, she’d rather die.

“Please don’t. I’m sorry, I’ll try to keep going so you guys can get home.” Athena then slowly shifted her weight onto her limbs as she started pushing herself off of the ground, the boys rising with her, Choji keeping his hand close in case she needed support. 

“Stop apologising, just let us know when you need to stop before it gets to this, okay?” Choji said, picking up Eros’s leash and passing it back to her but taking her backpack and slinging it over his shoulder next to his own.

“Okay.” Athena mumbled, keeping her head low so he wouldn’t meet her eyes, starting to walk to prove she was okay.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After the group had hit the halfway point, Choji insisted on a proper break, much to Naruto’s disappointment, but he still sat after seeing Choji nudge his shoulder in the direction of Athena, sitting at the base of a nearby tree and propping her legs up vertically against it.

“So whaddya mean when you said the thing about your heart and your blood not working together?” Naruto asked, scooting closer to her as Eros approached him for some long awaited attention.

“Basically, when you stand up, the blood settles in the lower half of your body but nerves and shit keep enough blood in your brain and heart so they function. But my body just kinda lets my blood continue into my legs, so my heart panics and goes faster.” Athena explained, trying to keep it as simple as possible to try and avoid too many questions. “So my brain doesn’t get as much blood and oxygen as it needs, then I get lightheaded and tired, and then  _ pbbbt _ ,” finishing her explanation with a raspberry before sighing and closing her eyes, trying to let her body and mind rest while it could.

“So are you letting the blood drain out of your legs?” Choji questioned, pointing towards her legs stuck up against the tree, even though she wasn’t looking at him.

“Yep.”

“Do you get tired a lot?”

“Yep.” Athena responded back to Choji, popping her P the second time, moving her hands to rest behind her head.

Choji found it refreshing seeing Athena without her painted-on smile. Although she seemed to truly be a relatively joyful person, it felt more genuine seeing her like this, lounging against a tree and speaking so casually.

“Why didn’t you mention it before?” Choji asked, not sure if he’d get an answer with how curt she was getting as she rested. Groaning and shuffling herself around until her back was against the tree, legs spread out in front of her.

“People either don’t get it or notice that I live on the line between able-bodied and disabled. I’m either lazy and I ‘can’t be in that much pain’ if I’m walking around.” Athena lifted her hands to make air quotations and used a mocking tone when mentioning her pain, “Or me needing just  _ some  _ extra exceptions and, god forbid, asking for a  _ chair _ ! It’s too much effort for most people. It’s easier to just say no or ignore me until I reach my limit and leave on my own.” Sighing and lifting her head to look at the men across from her, she lowered her tone slightly as she began speaking again.

“Which is why it’d mean a lot if you didn’t mention this to anyone else. If I start working and realise I need help, I’ll ask, but I just want to be judged on my merit alone. It’s hard to do that when I’m being treated like a cracked glass.”

Both men immediately agreed, knowing what it was like to try to change someone’s impression of you once they had already formed an opinion. Naruto being a jinchuuriki and Choji being judged by his weight, both since they were children.

With a friendship budding between Athena and the shinobi, she was ready to get up and finish making her way to the village, the excitement in her starting to surge once more, knowing that there were two people on her side for once.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Coming through a clearing between some trees, Athena came face to face with the large green gates that separated the forest from the village, the sun halfway through setting behind the Hokage’s rock formations. Awaiting between the open gates was Shizune, standing just behind the line separating pavement from dirt, with a pig in her arms.

Athena took this moment while they were still outside the village to ask Naruto to stop and let her put Eros back in his carrier, more worried about his safety than any harm he could potentially cause. 

As the trio officially entered the village, Choji and Naruto walked towards two guards to the side to announce that they had returned from their mission, and provided Athena’s identification and relocation papers, while she stayed in front of Shizune as she looked around at what she could see of the village.

“Welcome! Was your trip here okay?” Shizune greeted after letting Athena take in her surroundings for a few moments.

“It was good, thank you. Choji and Naruto were great escorts.” she assured Shizune, hiding as many signs of fatigue from her as possible.

“Good, I’m glad.” Shizune waited for the men to return before she started again. “Well then, I just have a few things to tell you before these two can show you to your accommodation. We’d like you to come in tomorrow afternoon to show you around the Hokage’s Tower. Show you where you’ll be working, provide you with some project briefs, as well as meeting with your supervisors. There’s some documents that should be inside your new residence such as a village map, information about the Hokage’s Tower, and some details of shops and leisure areas around the village.”

“Thank you for your hospitality.” Athena smiled, bowing slightly.

“Of course, you’re technically a guest of the Hokage’s, so let me know if there’s anything else you need, but I’ll let Choji and Naruto take you to your new residence for now.” Shizune bowed back, the pig in her arms making a few  _ oink _ s, before she moved to the side with a brief wave as she then turned to speak to the guards. 

As they walked through the village, Choji and Naruto pointed out multiple places, both stopping at their favourite restaurants to sing their praises as they came closer to a large tower of apartments. 

“This is one of the few buildings that the village owns. It’s mainly a place for people who can’t afford their own places, but some people move in just because it’s in the center of the village.” Naruto said, walking in front of the others as he confidently walked up each set of stairs. “I live here too, so we’ll be neighbours!”

Athena just hummed, hoping it’d satisfy the blonde as she tried to keep her heavy breathing as quiet as she could. Her back, knees, and feet started screaming for a break, and even if she knew Choji and Naruto would’ve been happy to wait for her, she was running out of energy and was ready to be alone. Even Eros was staying quiet, laying down in his carrier as he peeked through the mesh at her flushed face.

After climbing 5 sets of stairs, Naruto finally stopped at a door, peering over at Choji to ask if it was the right number. As he confirmed it, Choji came around from behind Athena and produced a key from his pocket, passing it to her with a smile. Unlocking the door, she pushed it open to reveal her new home for the time she’d be working in Konoha. 

While she walked through all of the rooms, Choji and Naruto began unsealing all of her belongings from the scrolls from that morning. Eros watched as boxes began appearing out of thin air from inside his carrier as he waited for ‘his’ box to be summoned. When it had, Naruto carried it to Athena outside of the bathroom before she started setting up the litter tray and a bowl of water. Once it was ready, the boys took a break to watch her retrieve Eros from his carrier, taking him to the bathroom to show him where his things were, but as soon as all four of his feet had hit the ground, he dashed between the three humans to go and check out his new home. 

Leaning against one of the walls, watching Eros zoom around the floor, releasing all of his energy that had amassed during their long day, any anxiety that Athena still had inside of her stomach vanished.

Choji and Naruto finished and waved goodbye to Athena, wishing her a goodnight. After she closed the door, both Athena and Eros looked at each other before racing towards the futon that had been provided for her and settling in for the night, Eros choosing to sit atop the pillow just above Athena’s head. Setting an alarm so Athena would wake up with plenty of time before heading to her new job, the pair snuggled into each other and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, Athena’s chronic illness is called POTS, with some overlaps of other hyper-mobility related chronic illnesses. All of it comes from my own experiences with my own chronic illness. I just really wanted some representation for myself and other people like me.
> 
> Anyway, Shikamaru returns next chapter! So I’ll see you then x


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late, but y'know, life 😂

Waking with a start as her alarm went off, Athena sat up to look around the bare walls of her new home, the only thing of note being where Eros sat on the window sill, basking in the mid morning sun. Slowly getting up, she walked to the kitchen counter where there was a large, sealed envelope with her name written upon it.

Taking it back to her futon to sit and peruse the documents, she opened it to reveal the few things Shizune had mentioned yesterday. Athena pulled out the village map first, quickly glancing at it before putting it beside her, then pulling out a sheet with multiple times and dates on it. It looked to be the hours the Hokage’s Tower was accessible to staff (which appeared to be always), a few dates for holidays (with an asterix stating that staff who wished to work over holidays were welcome to), a long paragraph on how to request a meeting with the Hokage, and a few locations within the tower. She was embarrassed how quickly her eyes skimmed all of that  important information and settled on the name  _ Nara, Shikamaru: Hokage’s Advisor _ and the office number that sat beside it. 

Placing that sheet down next to her as well, Athena eagerly pulled out the list of ‘shops and leisure centers’ Shizune had spoken of, only to be disappointed once she started looking at the places that had actually been listed. Most of the shops mentioned were all intended for Shinobi; weapons shops, places to practice jutsu, supply stores for items needed specifically for missions. The only useful places that were listed were a few grocery stores and places that provided take away food. Sighing and going to place the last sheet down, her fingers slid across the back and felt another sheet of paper peel away slightly from the friction of her fingers. Carefully separating the two sheets from each other, having been held together from where a bit of ink hadn’t dried fully before it went in the envelope, she looked at the new piece of paper.

It was a thinner piece of paper than the others, allowing light to shine through it slightly, and it was covered in red dots with small words beside each one. Deciding to test the first idea that came to her head, Athena picked up the village map again and placed the sheer piece of paper on top of it, turning it a few times before everything seemed to match up. Looking closer at the small words written, now that she knew what they referred to, she was slightly surprised at the locations that had been noted. A few local pet shops, the closest vet to her, a 24 hour shop around the corner, as well as circling the hospital, the library, and the few places from the official list that were useful and local to her. Near the center was a wonky star with the names  _ Athena & Eros  _ written beside it. Looking closer at the location of the star on the map, she saw that the star was marking where her apartment was.

The last bit of ink used on the paper was on the reverse side in the form of a short note:

_ Didn’t want you to get lost _

_ \- ~~Shikam~~ ‘Sir’ _

Feeling her skin immediately heat up, Athena remembered how her last encounter with her new boss had ended. The near kiss, his immediate instinct to protect her in the face of perceived danger, and then the half awful joke/half awful attempt at casually flirting that had ended up being the last word said between them. 

While Athena placed her head in her hands, anxiety starting to spiral in her head, making her want nothing more than to curl back into bed and just go back to sleep, Eros trotted over to look at the papers and the envelope. Sticking his snout into the envelope and then looking up towards Shikamaru’s note, he was quick to start pawing at it and meowing for her attention before taking a few more sniffs. 

“Do you recognise his scent? That’s your friend, Shikamaru.” Eros responded by quickly glancing at Athena’s face and then deciding to loaf on the envelope, closing his eyes quietly.

“Honey, I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me,” His eyes opened slightly to take a glance at Athena’s face before closing them again and snuggling further into himself.

Sighing and rubbing at her eyes, Athena decided she really had to get up properly if even Eros wasn’t willing to hang out with her. Looking at the clock, she noted that she had enough time to get dressed and get some breakfast if she left now. 

~

Putting a light coat of her lipstick on so it wouldn’t smear as she ate, Athena grabbed a brand new notebook and pen, shoving them next to the village maps and the corresponding overlay in her bag before heading for the door, hearing the quiet clicks against the floor as Eros got ready to join her on her journey. 

“I’m sorry, Eros, but I’m going to work and neither of us know our way around the village at all, so can you stay here?” Turning to face the sweet boy, her heart broke slightly at seeing him sitting with his head tilted, eyes wide and staring back at her. “We can go grocery shopping tonight and try to explore a bit, okay?” Watching Eros silently make his way to his food made Athena feel guilty as all hell, but she opened the door and left before he could look back at her.

Making her way down the steps was much easier than going up in them, even if she was slightly inhibited by the pencil skirt of her dress and the short heels she wore. Stepping off of the last step and tugging her skirt down, Athena started looking around at her surroundings as she set off in the general direction of the Hokage’s Tower, hoping she’d find something that’d fill her up enough to function and take in all the information she knew she’d be inundated with.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Walking up to the Hokage’s Tower, Athena didn’t realise how much the building would loom above her as she stood in front of it. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the guards look her over, maintaining their imposing posture. If she hadn’t absolutely needed to, she would have avoided all contact with them.

“Umm, excuse me, hi,” she started, addressing the guards, feeling ashamed already at her uncertain tone. “I’m here to be shown around. Shizune should be expecting me.”

The guards shared a look between each other with slight smirks upon their faces before turning their attention back towards her.

“Can I see your shinobi ID, miss?”

“I have an official visitors ID.” Athena started rummaging through her bag as she said this, digging her new ID out from the depths of it, before presenting it to the guards. Each of the guards took a cursory look at it and already Athena was starting to notice that getting in wouldn’t be as easy as she hoped it would be.

“I’m sorry, miss. We need your shinobi ID. It’s for security.” The guard said, starting to move forward as if to intimidate her into stepping back out into the main street. 

Tightening her hand around the shoulder strap of her bag, Athena was really trying to hold her ground against them, all the while already thinking of her other options.

She knew where Naruto lived, but he didn’t seem like the type to be home during the day. She couldn’t handle going all the way home to then find out he wasn’t there and then head straight back to the tower for another try. She didn’t know where Choji lived or where he might be, the location of his favourite restaurant was the only clue she had to his whereabouts, and that really didn’t help her much when she couldn’t remember where in the village it was. 

“Could you please let Shizune know that I’m here then? My name is Athena. She’s expecting me.” she said, trying to keep any signs of desperation out of her voice for the time being, but she could feel herself getting very close to pleading with the guards to ask  _ someone _ who she was and confirm that she had been specifically requested.

Shaking their heads and quietly chuckling under their breath, the dread just settled further into her gut.

“You’ll just have to wait for her outside the gate, sweetheart.” The second guard started to walk forward as well now, intending to help his partner persuade the small girl in front of them to give up on trying to get into the Hokage’s Tower. 

Was Athena slightly embarrassed that she only had one card left and that she’d resorted to playing it? Yes. But she had enough hope that it might just pay off when nothing else would.

“Tell Shikamaru Nara that I’m here. I’m a … guest of his.” she said, cringing at the pause in her words that insinuated a closer relationship to the man than she actually had. 

“Look, you can keep saying as many names as you like, you’ll still have to wait outside.” The guards got ever closer, making Athena step back a few spaces, still trying to hold her ground. 

“She doesn’t have to wait. I’m here now.” Both the guards and Athena snapped their heads to look towards the man exiting the tower. Athena had never been one for smoking, but watching as Shikamaru lit his cigarette, shove a hand back into his pocket, and released a puff of smoke from his lips, all while glaring at the guards who hadn’t believed her? The entirety of his image at that moment made her flush as she felt herself clench inside her underwear.

Walking forward and plucking the ID from Athena’s hand and shoving it in the guards faces, Shikamaru’s tone was firm as he addressed them.

“This is an official ID. Athena is an employee of the Hokage, just as you two are. I’ll be sure to tell your supervisor to make note of her so she isn’t stopped from entering her place of work again.” he said, watching as the guards shuffled their way back into their places either side of the entrance and straightened their backs, still averting their gazes from meeting Shikamaru’s. When the guards borderline yelled their affirmation, Athena had to hold in a laugh at how quickly they had gone from intimidating men to terrified boys.

Finally facing Athena after chewing out the guards, Shikamaru hoped the shake of his next exhale as he took her in was subtle enough to be attributed to the tobacco leaving his lungs.

“Thanks for that.” Athena said, gazing up at Shikamaru as he faced away for a moment to blow more smoke out of his mouth, trying his best to not get any in her face.

“No problem. I’m sorry you had to deal with it at all.” A small smile gracing his face. “I’m taking a smoke break if you want to stick with me, b-but, if you’d rather wait inside, I’ll only be a few minutes.” Shikamaru offered, watching the ash fall as he tapped it off his cigarette.

“That sounds nice, if you’re sure you don’t mind company.” Athena was graced with a shrug from him in return, the smile not leaving his lips as he set off, walking along the side of the tower, the two of them falling into step with each other easily. 

After walking in a comfortable silence for a few metres, Athena spotted a stone bench under a large tree against the outside wall, the sound of kids screaming and playing on the other side of it. 

Slowing his steps, Shikamaru gave Athena space to take a seat on the bench as he stood in front of her, still cautious of blowing his smoke away from her. Watching as she leant back on the bench, sighing deeply and closing her eyes, Shikamaru couldn’t help himself from trying to strike up a conversation with her while they were alone.

“Sorry again about all … that,” he apologised, tilting his head to watch the dust he kicked up. “A lot of the guards out front aren’t cleared for external missions, so they tend to grab at any sense of superiority they can get.”

“It’s okay. Not the worst thing I’ve seen men do.” Athena replied, keeping her head back against the wall, slowly opening her eyes to glance at the clouds above. Shikamaru responded by muttering something about how ‘troublesome’ it all was, smoke cascading out of his mouth before it drifted upwards towards the sky. 

“Thanks for the map by the way.” Athena started, biting her lip in thought for a moment before adding, “ _ Sir _ ,” saying the title with a purr, laughing heartily when Shikamaru began coughing up the smoke in his airway. When he turned her way again, Athena noticed the flush along the man’s cheeks, making her dip her head to look at her thighs, knowing she wouldn’t be able to blame the heat rapidly spreading along her face on a coughing fit, not seeing as he smirked at her form before tipping his head to hide it as he thought of his next words. 

Noticing that his cigarette was slowly burning down to his finger tips, Shikamaru wondered if he could get away with lighting another to prolong his time alone with Athena before her attention would be shared. Eventually deciding against it and letting the remnants of his cigarette fall to the ground, grinding it under his foot, he decided he had to respond to her teasing in some capacity.

“Let’s keep that between us. Don’t want you getting a reputation on your first day.” Shikamaru teased, trying not to think of all the ways she could use the title to refer to him. Unbeknownst to him, Athena was subtly clenching her thighs at his comment, wanting desperately to respond that she’d be happy to carry a reputation as long as he’d carry her, ideally to the closest bed available. Unfortunately, the left side of her brain made the rational choice to stand, having noticed Shikamaru’s lack of cigarette, and walked the few paces until she was in front of him.

“So is calling you Shikamaru okay?” 

“Yeah.”

As the pair walked back to the tower together and approached the entrance, Shikamaru caught the smug smirk Athena sent the guards from the corner of his eye, making him smile in turn. Turning to face her properly once inside, it was only then that he noticed who was missing.

“Oh, should I tell them to let Eros in when he comes?” He immediately regretted his words when he saw the smirk that was still set on Athena’s face quickly fall, the spark in her eyes quickly following.

“No. I left him at the apartment today.” She responded, trying desperately to not think of him curled up on his own. Noticing the look of worry on Shikamaru’s face as they continued winding their way through the hallways of the tower, she felt she needed to justify the instant drop in her mood. “It’s my first time without him since I got him as a kitten. I just didn’t want anything to happen to him while neither of us know our way around, and we don’t really know anyone in case he did need help.” 

Shikamaru hummed in reply, deciding to keep silent for the rest of the walk to the Hokage’s office. As he announced their approach, Athena grabbed Shikamaru’s arm quickly and turned him to face her. 

“Do I look okay? Is there any make up around my eyes?” And as he looked at Athena, tucking her hair behind her ears, blindly wiping non existent lipstick away from the corners of her mouth, he couldn’t stop himself from saying, “You look beautiful.”

Leaving Athena to stand still in shock for a moment, Shikamaru cleared his throat out of embarrassment before standing in front of the Hokage’s door. Quickly checking on Athena from the corner of his eye, catching as she pushed her hair back over her ear once she stood back beside him, he raised his fist and knocked on the door and waited to be called in before he turned the handle.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the 2 week hiatus 🙃
> 
> I've decided to change all chapter titles just to what number they are since I cringe really hard at trying to name them

Stepping into the Hokage’s office for the first time, her heels lightly clicking against the wooden floor, felt about as nerve wracking as Athena thought it would, if not more so. The sixth Hokage sat behind his desk, head held up by his entwined hands as she felt his eyes looking her over briefly. To his left were Shizune and the fifth Hokage, Tsunade, the latter sitting on the edge of the large open window behind her. Athena glanced and noticed two elders who she had only seen in one or two books about Konoha, the elders being Homura and Koharu of the Konoha Council.

Athena only released the breath she’d been holding in when she caught sight of Sasuke leaning on the wall next to the door, tucked away behind her to quietly watch over the meeting. When she heard Shikamaru close the door behind him before standing by the wall next to it, almost mirroring Sasuke’s position on the other side, Athena took a final glance around the room at her surveyors before keeping her eyes centered on the large desk in the centre of the room..

As Sasuke watched Athena stand in front of the leaders of the village, he watched as she brought her hands behind her back so she could fiddle with her fingers away from everyone's view. In an unconscious response to her rising anxiety, Sasuke placed his hand casually on the hilt of his katana, a movement that didn’t go unnoticed by the other’s in the room.

The room stayed silent for a moment before the seventh Hokage cleared his throat and began to speak.

“Well, I suppose I should start by welcoming you to the village! I hope the journey here went well.” Athena was surprised at how jovial the Hokage sounded, but any attempts at trying to settle her anxiety with his tone had been lost on her.

“Yes, Choji and Naruto were great escorts, sir.” She replied, absentmindedly using the title as a show of respect, but missing the subtle up tick of Shikamaru’s smile as she uttered it.

“Please, just call me Kakashi.” he insisted, only receiving a gentle nod from the woman in front of him. In contrast, the female elder clicked her tongue at the informality being shown in front of her.

“I’ll get straight to it. Under my leadership, I’m prioritising releasing information from the village’s archives to the general public in wake of things that came to light during the Fourth Ninja War.” Kakashi paused briefly, under the guise of an intake of breath, as the elders exchanged glances. Even as an outsider, Athena could tell they were busting to pick a fight with someone in the room, and she could only hope it wouldn’t be her, but she didn’t like her chances.

“Of course we can’t release everything, but we’d like to share some of the history of our village that we haven’t been able to make public in the past.”

As the elders only showed more and more displeasure as the meeting continued, Tsunade spoke in hopes they’d settle down when faced with her strong distaste for the pair.

“If you’re still willing to take the job, I’ll be placing a curse mark on you as a security measure. Although we’d like to trust you, I’m sure you understand that we can’t stand behind you and censor everything you read, which I’m sure you wouldn’t want either.” At this, the elders shared a glance before looking towards Athena again, and though she hadn’t seen their mocking smiles, Sasuke had.

“May we ask you something, dear?” Koharu, the female elder, questioned. The other shinobi in the room all raised an eyebrow, either physically or mentally, as the elderly woman played the role of a grandmotherly type, but while Athena hadn’t seen the look shared between Koharu and Homura, she did hear Sasuke push himself off the wall behind her to stand straight. From the few months they had ‘worked’ together, Athena knew immediately to take a more domineering stance when she heard Sasuke’s feet silently move into a casual fighting stance.

Shikamaru watched Athena’s reaction to Sasuke, observing the twitching of her hands stop as she moved to firmly grasp them together behind her back, her posture straightening to make her small stature seem as tall as possible.

It seemed that Koharu hadn’t truly noticed the change in the young woman before her, only registering the curt nod towards her.

“What do you think of our village, hmm? I’ve been told you had taken a special interest in it even before you had become known to us.”

Athena responded to the question by first turning her head slightly over her shoulder towards Sasuke, and after hearing no firm order to behave or hold her tongue, she turned back towards the elderly woman and gave a face-splitting smile.

“Oh, it’s a beautiful village, with a rich history of being truly powerful! ” A cheerful nod being given in the beat Athena allowed Koharu to enjoy the praise as if it were her own before continuing in the upbeat tone.

“It does make sense to me why the Raikage would want the upper hand, resorting to trying to abduct a 3 year old girl from the Hyuga clan. But the way it was resolved by giving over the head of the branch family, who had been given a curse mark and was a descendent of a continuing line of inferiority between the main and branch families? Definitely a twist I wouldn’t have seen coming from such a  _ strong, powerful  _ nation.”

Sasuke watched from his space in the corner as his former sensei’s eyes widened throughout Athena’s brief speech, the village elders sputtering around words, trying to come to grips with the blue haired woman in front of them. However, Shikamaru’s eyes got caught on Tsunade as she smiled widely in Athena’s direction, not bothering to hide the pleasure she received from seeing a young, civilian woman return the elders’ malice back to them on a silver platter.

“How do you know of that?” The older woman yelled, standing up from her chair in outrage. The man beside her stayed in her seat as his brows furrowed and the wrinkles along his mouth got deeper with his growing frown.

Kakashi tried his best to not lean back in his chair and give into the temptation of watching the unfolding drama merely as an observer, but it only got harder as Athena made an overdramatic show of letting a pleasant smile stretch across her face.

“Oh, I didn’t.” She said, letting her words settle for a moment as she internally rejoiced in the frustrated gasp that broke from Koharu’s mouth, along with Sasuke’s quiet scoff in response to her faux naivety. “But by the way you’ve reacted, I’m thinking that the nail I hit was too close for your comfort.”

The outrage only grew stronger within the elders as they waited for the two Hokages in the room to speak, only to be met with silence as Tsunade bit back a poorly hidden smile, and Kakashi kept his face blank as he processed the scene that had just unfolded. 

The man of the pair rose from his seat as well, intending to come to his colleagues aid, but he bit his tongue as he caught the red eye peeking from under Sasuke’s fringe, lazily staring at the pair, ready to move in response to whatever order the two elders spat out.

“I’d strongly suggest you either lock up this recreant, or send her back with a curse mark firmly placed on her!” Koharu continued to yell, only following Homura’s lead out of the office after a stern look had been aimed towards her from her colleague. The only noticeable movement as they left was when Tsunade whispered in Shizune’s ear, followed by the timid assistant sighing quietly before following the elders out. 

The second movement seemed to only be noticed by Shikamaru, outside of the pair initiating the movement. He watched subtly as Sasuke’s index and middle finger reached to the belt firmly buckled around Athena’s waist, slipping between the leather and fabric, before giving a quick tug as the elders walked closer to the woman at the heart of their anger. The way Athena naturally responded to the subtle command Sasuke made, stepping out of the way and back towards him as though she chose to move of her own volition, made Shikamaru’s mind race through both new and familiar emotions all at once. 

He was relieved that Sasuke had pulled Athena away from the line of fire, but he was envious of the way she blindly followed his touch. When Sasuke’s hawk had scared her back in Ku-Ring-Gai, Athena would have pulled out of Shikamaru’s grasp if he hadn't been the stronger of them. And even before she had sparked the anger spewing from Koharu, Athena waited on Sasuke’s judgement, not listening to her own gut as she stood surrounded by powerful shinobi.

Logically, Shikamaru knew that Athena had known Sasuke longer, and had obviously formed a strong bond with him, but the insecurity of how Athena hadn’t looked at him once since he closed the door took root within him. For however many looks he had thought Athena had shared with him, it was hard to not notice the way Sasuke and Athena didn’t need to lock eyes to align their decisions.

Shikamaru’s attention only snapped back into the room when he heard his name come from Kakashi’s mouth.

“Shikamaru, would you accompany Lady Tsunade and Athena?” Kakashi asked, making sure his request was clear when he saw how his advisor's eyes were slightly glazed over, his head tilted towards the floor. Shikamaru took a subtle glance around the room until his eyes settled on the now vacant spot where Sasuke had been standing, Athena standing a few spaces in front, lightly twisting and pushing the joints in her fingers individually, only moving to the next when one of her knuckles made a small cracking sound.

“Sure. I’ll follow your lead, m’lady.” Shikamaru responded, turning and opening the door before holding it open for the women.

“Wait for me outside, I’ll just be a minute,” replied Tsunade, causing Athena to turn towards the man behind her and look up to meet his eyes for just a moment. Shikamaru couldn’t look away from Athena in that moment, seeing the anxiety and vulnerability swirling within her pupils. Without knowing or meaning to, his eyelids dropped slightly in response to the woman in front of him before he took a step back to allow her further room to exit the office.

When Athena walked out into the hallway and Shikamaru closed the door behind her, closing the office off for the Hokages’ privacy, they left behind Kakashi and Tsunade, both of them allowing small smiles to rise on their faces.

“They didn’t know each other before he was sent with Shizune to meet her, did they?” Tsunade started, breaking the pleasant silence.

“Not that I’m aware of.” Kakashi replied, allowing himself to finally lean all the way back in his chair.

“So this is only the second or third time seeing each other?”

“Yeah, although I agree that the way they’re acting could’ve fooled me as well.”

“Hmm. I wonder what’ll happen.” Tsunade remarked, receiving an identical hum of intrigue from Kakashi before she pushed herself off the window sill to discuss what she had needed to.

On the other side of the door as Shikamaru closed it, the young pair stayed quiet as they walked a few paces down the everwinding hallway until they reached the window closest to where they had come from. Shikamaru watched Athena as she let her eyes stare into the distance as her fingers unconsciously tapped against the frame around it, a sign that the man watching her had learnt to mean she was anxiously thinking. 

“The Fifth seems to like you.” He stated, quickly becoming amused at the way Athena had jolted as he reminded her of his presence. When Athena let a small smile slip as she shrugged in Shikamaru’s direction, he chose to voice one of the many questions he had thought of while she had been fighting with the elders.

“What would you have done if she didn’t?” There was a silent moment as she turned to meet Shikamaru’s eyes, wordlessly asking him to elaborate, “What if Kakashi had sent you back because of what you’ve said?”

Shrugging again, Athena turned her head back to the window, only allowing Shikamaru to capture a side view of her growing smirk.

“He needs a historian. I’m not the only one, I’m just the better one.” When he scoffed in response, a smile of disbelief appearing on his face, the lingering adrenaline and her flirtatious nature mixed in just the right way to encourage her to throw one last smug remark at him before they’d be interrupted once more.

“Plus, I’ve seduced a religious serial killer and lived, I’m not letting a vile old lady walk over me.”

And before Shikamaru could respond with anything other than letting his lips part, brow creasing in confusion, Athena stepped back so she could be within Tsunade’s view as the former Hokage opened the office door at that moment and signalled for the two to follow her.

Walking behind Athena and Tsunade, watching the younger of the two keep up a trivial conversation with the other, Shikamaru allowed himself to fully take Athena in. He had stopped himself until now, trying his hardest in the few intimate moments they had together to convey that he was attracted to her wit and intelligence above all else, especially after the brief discussion he had with Sasuke back in her town when they had first met. But seeing her in front of him now, unaware of his unwavering attention towards her figure, he let himself enjoy the view for a brief moment.

He could tell Athena had chosen the dress she had to appear older than she actually was, and it had worked well. The ¾ sleeves and the hem that touched just under her knee gave her an aura of authority that was only broken by the way her dyed hair swayed against her neck from where it was tied up at the crown of her head. However, Shikamaru couldn’t think of her with the level of respect she deserved when he could only imagine how nicely his hands would rest on the dips around her hips, or how her love handles would look while his fingers were gripped tightly around the flesh. The neckline of her dress spread wide across the span of her shoulders, revealing the edges of her collarbones and the full expanse of her neck and, along with the ever moving ponytail always within his view, he could’ve closed his eyes and spent hours thinking of his lips and teeth trailing along her neck, the hair that was curled tight around his fist being used to move her head this way and that.

His attention only fully returned to the pair when he noticed where they were heading, ashamed that this was the second time in an hour or so that he had thought about her so deeply that he had stopped focusing on his surroundings. The most Shikamaru had heard of the women’s conversation was Athena thanking Tsunade for something before they entered an elevator that wasn’t usually used for visitors or higher ups in the village. While thinking on it while the elevator rose up a few levels, Shikamaru couldn’t think of a time he hadn’t used stairs to access the upper floors of the building.

As the elevator doors opened, Athena trailed a step or two behind Tsunade for the first time since they had left the tower, taking in the thick grey walls and sparse array of windows down the corridor. Exposed pipes ran along the ceiling, occasionally dripping from a few rusted parts, only adding to the haunting atmosphere of the place.

“Well, I can’t offer you a particularly warm welcome,” Tsunade started, opening a door that screeched along the cold floor, gingerly nodding to the large man and pink-haired woman behind it, turning back towards Athena to finish her sentence. “But this is the Konoha Intelligence Division.”

The pink haired girl continued looking through the door even when her mentor had entered the room to check preparations. The new woman’s sudden fidgeting and somewhat disguised anxiety wasn’t what caught her attention. What caught her attention was Shikamaru’s disheartened face looking down at her without the woman’s notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I kinda insinuate Shikamaru missed Athena's conversation with Tsunade about her chronic illness because he was staring at her ass? Yes. Yes I did.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter, but I couldn't bring myself to add more when I thought I ended it so sweetly 🥰

Athena tried to maintain eye contact with the heavily scarred man she was shaking hands with, but she eventually let her head tip down, trying to pass it off as a show of respect as she introduced herself. The man, Ibiki, as she had learnt, across from her only seemed to smirk at the dominance he exuded over her, but seemed to make an effort to raise the tone of his voice for the short girl in front of him. Ibiki had also noticed what the other female in the room had. That just over the girl’s shoulder, standing casually against the now closed door, was the head of the Nara clan scowling to himself in the corner, trying to appear as though nothing, or no one, had triggered it.

Ibiki turned and introduced Sakura to Athena before stepping back to let her try to relieve Athena’s ever growing anxiety from being in his presence.

“Hi, I’m Sakura and I’m going to be Lady Tsunade’s assistant today.” She said, putting on an easy smile to try to ease the tension. “Can I get anything for you? Or answer any questions?” 

“No, I’m fine, thanks.” The words sounded forced even to Athena, and from what she could gather from the look on Sakura’s face, they hadn’t sounded convincing to her either.

“Athena, could you come over here so I can explain the procedure to you?” Tsunade called, causing Athena to walk over to her, still in a daze. 

As her mentor and Ibiki began to explain away to Athena, Sakura turned her gaze towards Shikamaru’s form in the corner. He had known he’d been caught when the sly grin plastered itself on his peer’s face. Turning his head, not knowing how the tips of his ears had turned red, he dreaded each step he heard from Sakura as she came closer to him, already knowing the line of questioning he was about to endure. He also kept in mind that whatever answers he was about to give would probably be quickly relayed to Ino for her to continue the, what was sure to be, lengthy interrogation.

“Sooo?” Sakura begun, tilting her head to enter Shikamaru’s line of sight as he kept his head aimed at the floor. “Who is she?”

Shikamaru was hesitant to answer, trying to figure out the best way to describe their relationship without inadvertently adding fuel to the fire.

“She’s the new Konoha Historian, or something.” Sakura’s smirk only widened in response.

“Or something?”

“Yeah. ‘Or something’. I don’t know what her official title is, it’s her first day.”

“You seem very protective for only knowing her for a single day.” Sakura watched as Shikamaru stared back at her with a neutral face, his arms crossed and back straight, but she mostly focused on watching his eyes flit over her shoulder to watch Athena’s back more often than not, and probably more often than he realised.

“I’m her supervisor, if anything happens to her, it all comes back to me, and the paperwork sounds like a drag.” He responded, thinking over his next answer for whatever Sakura would ask next, only for the question to not come as she got called back over by Tsunade as Athena got led over to a chair in the center of the room.

Athena’s mind span as she sat, already feeling lightheaded, which didn’t bode well as she had just been warned that she’d become even further lightheaded after her procedure. 

Curse marks had never been where her interest lay, so the most she knew about their application was the explanation Sasuke had given her about a month after they had first met.

_ “I think I was unconscious for about two days when I first got it, and then I think another week or so after Kakashi sealed it.” _

_ “Wait, so you were just unconscious in a deadly forest, with deadly people, who were allowed to use deadly force?” Athena asked through a mouthful of potato chips, mindlessly shoving them in her mouth as something to do while Sasuke relayed the first time he met Orochimaru. _

_ “Yeah.”  _

_ “Don’t just say ‘yeah’ like that!” Sasuke winced slightly at her sudden shout, but still took the opportunity to take a chip out of the bag while it was angled towards him, only adding to Athena’s shocked face. “Was it painful? I guess there was nothing you could do about it in a  _ **_deadly forest designed to kill you_ ** _ , but it had to be hard to pretend you were okay, right?” _

_ “I was already injured, it just kinda all blended together at a point, but I guess my shoulder did feel warmer that the rest of my body at the time.” _

While her knees and feet hurt, and her head ached, Athena didn’t think it’d be enough to distract her from the pain she was told she’d feel throughout her throat, but she just had to hold on to the hope that it’d settle until it just felt warm, or wasn’t any worse than a bad sore throat.

Sakura put a towel over her chest in case there was blood from biting down on her tongue, which only made Athena’s pulse fly higher. Ibiki stepped in front of her and made an effort to calm her down, knowing the more fear ran through Athena’s body, the longer it’d take to get the procedure over with. And the longer he’d have to be on his best behaviour in front of a civilian. 

“If you want to close your eyes you can, but it’ll be easier on your mind if you pick a spot on the wall to stare at.” Ibiki commented, pulling on gloves and preparing the few symbols he’d need. “Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to hold your tongue out with these metal tongs, and then you’ll feel my two fingers at the back of your tongue going into your throat before a sharp pinch of pain. It’s okay if you gag or vomit or bite, but I’m going to keep going unless you actively try to push me away.” 

All Athena could do was nod and pick her spot on the wall as Ibiki signaled for her to stick her tongue out of her mouth, feeling the metal tongs clamp onto the end of her tongue and pull it taut. The stretch against the back of her throat made her blink her eyes rapidly before focusing them again, but this time, her eyes focused on the other figure in the room.

Shikamaru closed his own eyes when Athena’s eyes started to blink, the corners of her eyes starting to show the beginnings of tears welling on her lash line, but when he felt eyes on him, he turned to give a glare at whoever was looking at him and not focusing on Athena, only to see her eyes staring back at him. Immediately his eyes softened, hands gripping at his biceps to stop his innate need to move forward to grab her hand, her arm, her waist. Anywhere that’d somehow stop the heavy droplet forming in the corner of her lashes from leaving a streak of mascara running down the curve of her cheek.

Athena watched as Shikamaru gave a shy smile in her direction, before raising the hand closest to her a little higher than his folded arm to quietly wave at her. Just as Athena’s face was ready to unconsciously smile back in response, the pain started.

Even as her tongue was released and allowed back into her mouth, the pain only continued getting worse. She starting trying to move her tongue around her closed mouth to scratch it against a tooth, or put pressure on the source of pain. High pitched whines escaping her closed mouth, only able to muffle the sound slightly. Instead of a feeling of warmth, Athena’s tongue felt like it was being burnt, as if someone had poured scalding water down her throat. 

While Ibiki moved back to the other side of the room, his part of the job having obviously come to an end, Tsunade stepped in front and pressed two fingers up against the part where Athena’s jaw connected to the neck and started emitting a green glow of chakra that she could only see the edges of in her peripheral. Her throat then felt cold, enough so that her body instinctively shivered, resulting in her feeling Sakura’s hand rub over her shoulder to warm Athena’s skin. 

When the pain had settled enough that Athena could verbally tell Tsunade and Sakura that she was okay, the pair moved to clean up and give her some space to breath. 

Shikamaru continued to observe from his spot against the wall, hands now in his pockets to hide the tight fists he had formed, but his eyes still soft and sullen as he watched Athena’s body take in deep, shaky breaths, leaning forward and letting her head hang below her knees to help the blood flow to her brain. 

Ibiki left without a word, only looking briefly at the small woman’s shaking form, and giving a subtle nod of acknowledgment to Shikamaru before leaving the room. Tsunade followed soon after, but instead gave Athena a quick rub across her shoulder before saying something to Sakura and leaving.

Sakura finished writing some things before collecting the paperwork detailing the curse mark now imprinted on Athena’s tongue before bundling it up in her arms and going to stand beside Shikamaru.

“Is someone coming to take her home?” Sakura whispered.

“I’ll take her back.” Shikamaru whispered back, never taking his eyes off of Athena’s body as the tension through her muscles released, leaving her looking exhausted, as if she could tumble onto the floor if she stopped actively trying to stay seated.

“Look, I don’t know how serious you feel about her, but please make sure she gets to bed safely. Not just her front door, to her bed.” 

Shikamaru met Sakura’s eyes, intending to argue with her, more so to deny his feelings, but her stern gaze cut him off. He nodded subtly before turning his face away from her, only hearing the door close after she had left. They had both known the reason why nothing more had to be said. They both knew that Shikamaru wasn’t going to let Athena leave his sight until he knew she was safe. Until he knew she wasn’t going to caused any more pain, even if he still wasn’t ready to admit it to himself.

Now that the room was empty except for the two of them, Athena’s eyes rose to allow Shikamaru to see the black tear stains running down her face, and the lipstick on the tips of her teeth from biting her bottom lip. 

Shikamaru looked her up and down to assess any other damage that she might have done to herself as he walked towards her, not knowing what he’d do once he stood directly in front of her, but he didn’t need to. When there was only a few feet of distance between them, Athena extended her hand towards him, and he took it without question, helping Athena to her feet before acting on impulse and pulling her into his arms, holding her tightly. He could feel her fingers dig into his back, gripping his shirt as tightly as her weakened body could as she shook against him, her body still in mild shock. After a minute, Athena finally spoke, her voice quiet and broken.

“Can you take me home now?” More whimpers followed her question, her body still buzzing with adrenalin that was quickly leaving her, only making her physical body weaker and weaker as the chemical supply keeping it going continued to drain away.

Shikamaru couldn’t get the words out of his throat. The need to just keep holding on to her small body, the need to hide her from any more hurt, was too strong a feeling to ignore. He finally responded with a nod against the crown of her head before aligning his lips to her forehead. 

And even though Shikamaru didn’t have the courage to actually kiss her skin, Athena’s breath still began to even out, her body becoming calmer.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not proof-read. We die like men.
> 
> At the end is a small announcement about a new mini series and changes in scheduling for this series during the month of November.

Stepping into the elevator, Shikamaru’s hand stayed plastered to Athena’s lower back, keeping her close to him in case she tripped over her own feet as they trailed below her. Neither made a sound against the whirring of the mechanics as the elevator got lower and lower back to the main entrance of the Intelligence Division. All Shikamaru could focus on was her small hand gripping on to the back of his shirt. Whether to help herself keep upright, or to not lose his support, he couldn’t clearly say.

Though they had multiple moments of intimacy, Shikamaru couldn’t come to terms with everything that had happened between them. He couldn’t fathom how strongly he felt for Athena. Couldn’t fathom how quickly she had worked her way into nearly every single one of his waking thoughts, even working her way into his dreams, most of them involving scenarios he wouldn’t be comfortable confiding in her about. He desperately wanted to pull away and give himself the space to breathe and let his brain process everything that had been thrown at it in a safe environment, but his head had remained full of thoughts of her even when she was still in Ku-Ring-Gai. How was he supposed to think straight when he could be at her doorstep in moments if he wanted to be? When he’d have to start passing her in the halls casually, like his palms didn’t sweat whenever he thought about their skin touching in any capacity, platonic or otherwise.

Athena had shared variants of the same thoughts rushing through Shikamaru’s head, but as her body only allowed spurts of energy to travel through her system, only the smallest quantities to let her get somewhere safe, she could only focus on the warmth emitting from his body as she leant into him. While he kept repeating his praises as she copied his deep breathing, probably not even noticing the way he was uttering the words ‘good girl’ into her hair every few minutes, he was only encouraging her senses to become even more overwhelmed with his scent, further overwhelmed by his ‘dark’, rumbling voice against the crown of her head. The deepest parts of her brain kept calling to her to give in and pass out against him. To wrap herself in his warmth and allow his very being to permeate her soul.

The haze Athena’s head had trapped her in only got blasted away as the afternoon sun flooded her vision when Shikamaru had opened the exit of the dreary building. Once their feet hit the footpath, she pushed off of Shikamaru to try and get herself used to standing on her own to avoid the embarrassing image of the Konoha’s brand new historian having to be dragged home on her first day, however, Shikamaru kept a firm grip on her bicep so he could pull her close if she began to fall.

Although Shikamaru felt like he’d self combust if Athena wrapped her legs around him, he couldn’t stop himself from asking out of his genuine concern for her, even while he felt the heat beginning to overtake his face.

“Hey, I can carry you back, if you want.”

“No, I’m heavy. We’re not doing that.” Athena replied while trying to take deep lungfuls of air to combat the nausea running through her throat. And while Shikamaru was desperate to correct her, having been down the road of weight insecurity with Choji many times throughout their lives, he decided to leave it for the moment. 

Pulling her back straight and trying to walk a few metres, Shikamaru walking alongside her skeptically, Athena only made it to the end of the footpath, where it adjoined to the main road, before she stumbled and grabbed blindly for her companions hand, who was more than ready to offer it. 

“Look, I know it’s troublesome, but you need to let me help you,” Shikamaru pleaded, watching the sweat begin to collect at the nape of Athena’s neck, matting the baby hairs that had slipped out from the base of her ponytail. When she looked back up at him, Shikamaru watched as the beginnings of more tears collected at her eyes, and he couldn’t stop himself from collecting the water on the tip of his thumb before trailing his hand down her face until her cheek was comfortably resting in the palm of his hand. “Please.”

When Shikamaru received a nod as his only form of acknowledgement before Athena tucked her head into her shoulder, barely audible sniffs being the only actual noise he heard from her. Shikamaru swapped hands so he could continue to have one holding hers, as well as his other pressed firmly against her back once more. Both felt confident that Shikamaru would be able to get her home, at least until Athena’s head lulled and firmly hit his shoulder, passing out and not hearing his sudden shout of her name.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Athena awoke to a familiar smell that she had to actively fight against as it fought to lull her back into a stupor. She could smell lingering traces of cigarette ash, but the smell of fresh black tea was what stuck in her head the most. As her senses continued to sort through her surroundings the next thing she noticed was her bare feet running against sheets, but she couldn't place why that didn’t sit right in her head. The only familiar thing that her brain immediately recognised was the wide green eyes and long snout that greeted her as she opened her eyes, blocking any other view of her surroundings along with the loud purrs that had started up as she became conscious. As a smile pulled at her lips slowly, Eros headbutted Athena’s face harshly in excitement, letting her press a few lazy kisses to his forehead to assure him she was okay before he started chirping loudly and leaping off the bed to run through the doorway, his feet padding along the wooden floor making Athena’s smile only grow wider.

She was about to close her eyes again until the thoughts in her brain suddenly connected. 

The sheets were wrong because she hadn’t unpacked her sheets yet, and her floors weren’t wooden, and, unfortunately, she knew exactly whose smell was wafting around her senses, and it wasn’t Eros’s. Having moved in shock and felt how high her skirt had hitched up in her sleep, and hearing footsteps starting to get closer to her, Athena stood and pulled her skirt down before dizziness swept through her once more and she sat back on the bed behind her, just as Eros jumped back up to sit by her side. 

Eros turned his head back towards the hall before Athena did, having called the man now leaning against the door frame to her bedside.

“How’re you feeling?” Shikamaru asked, eyes showing genuine concern as he crossed his arms and looked Athena over. She took a while to respond, looking Eros in the eye as she collected her thoughts.

“Pretty shit.” Athena finally answered, not turning her head back towards Shikamaru, but smiling as she heard his scoff in response.

“I had to move you using jutsu, so th-”

“You did what!”

Shikamaru stopped mid sentence and tried to decipher the anger that appeared on her face as it scrunched up slightly.

“My first experience being moved by chakra was when I was UNCONSCIOUS?” She yelled, dropping her head into her hands and letting out a guttural groan. Still at a loss for words, Shikamaru couldn’t stop himself from smiling at her deflated form while she wasn’t looking.

“Once I know you’re not going to faint again, I’ll take you somewhere.” And as Athena was about to make a snide comment about her  _ always _ being on the cusp of fainting, she suddenly remembered what had caused her to faint this time, leading to her pacing up to the mirror next to Shikamaru, laying her hand lightly on his bicep, before staring at her reflection and sticking her tongue out as far as it would go. She only briefly acknowledged how the streaks from her mascara soaked tears had been wiped away, her lipstick along with it, leaving only the ghost of red pigment upon her lips.

As the curse mark showed itself on the wet muscle, appearing as five thick, wavy lines, two of the lines broken in half, Shikamaru tried to not show his sadness at the inflamed patches of her tongue as the chakra continued to subtly burn through the layers of tissue.

“Does it hurt?” Shikamaru asked.

“Not so much anymore. I guess I really needed to sleep.” Athena sighed back before taking a look through the mirror at her surroundings, Eros wagging his tail politely from a top the unmade bed, before she turned back towards her host. Their eyes locked softly, Shikamaru moving his hand to lay on top of hers on his bicep, as Athena spoke in a quiet tone.

“Sorry for intruding into your space.”

“It’s okay, you being safe is more im-”

“And how did you get here, young man!” Athena shouted at Eros, turning her attention swiftly to the feline looking smug in his new environment, responding with a long chirp.

“You asked me to bring him?”

“What? No I didn’t.” She responded, turning her attention back to him. Shikamaru paused and thought for a second, his eyebrows furrowed for a moment.

“I guess you did seem out of it still. When I got you here you woke up for a bit and asked for him.” Athena hummed and watched Eros move to brush Shikamaru’s pant leg, a thank you for letting him out of their new home, before he trotted to explore his surroundings again as he felt his free time coming to an end. “Sorry if I shouldn’t have got him, you just seemed insistent.”

“It’s okay. It was nice seeing him when I woke up.” She sighed, moving to lean opposite him on the doorframe, mirroring his casual posture. “I hope he hasn’t caused you any trouble.”

“Nah, my mum seems to really like him. I wouldn’t be surprised if she sent me to work one day with some fish for him.” Athena just laughed in response, Shikamaru smiling back until she stopped and stared back at him.

The pair gazed at each other for a minute, listening to the noises coming from inside and outside the house. The shuffling of leaves as the wind blew through them, the quiet sounds of Shikamaru’s mother cooking and talking to Eros absentmindedly, the shuffling of Shikamaru’s and Athena’s hands as they were released from their other arms hold, moving across the space between them until their fingers brushed. 

Shikamaru moved first, intertwining their fingers before pulling lightly, allowing Athena the chance to remove her hand if she didn’t want to be pulled into his embrace. But she didn’t.

As she allowed herself to be led forward towards the man in front of her, they both released their other arms and intertwined them as well.

Shikamaru couldn’t stop himself from getting lost in Athena’s eyes, dreamily staring up at him, half opened, lips parting slightly to match. His eyes passed between hers and her lips, tilting further forward towards her when she anxiously chewed on a side of her lip before releasing it, only making them appear redder as the blood flowed through them. Both gave each other time to pull away, both knowing this moment was coming, but neither quite ready for it until their lips finally touched softly. It only took one peck before they released each other’s hands and pulled the other closer. Shikamaru placed a hand on the nape of her neck, the other at the dip of her waist. Athena rose on to the tips of her bare toes, hands intertwining gently behind his neck, already feeling the dizzying effect of their kiss. You could’ve told either of them they had stayed there, lips together, for a whole minute, or even ten of them, and the pair wouldn’t have believed otherwise. 

Shikamaru unwillingly pulled away first as he felt Athena’s body begin to shake, taking her hands in his as they slid down his chest as she lowered back onto the soles of her feet. Looking into each other's eyes once more, they both quietly laughed with the other, Shikamaru bending down so his forehead could rest against Athenas. 

They only pulled away, keeping their hands together, when Eros began purring at their feet, looping figure eights around their legs in happiness, a nice break in the romantic mood before it was further pulled away as Shikamaru’s mother called down the hall for Shikamaru, reminding him to ask Athena to stay for dinner.

“D-do you want to stay for dinner?” Shikamaru asked after having taken a deep breath to calm his beating heart, squeezing one of her hands.

“I mean, I don’t have any food yet, so I guess you’re the only option I’ve got.” Athena softly responded, keeping her tone quiet as she calmed down her own body, but letting her words drip in a mocking sarcasm. Shikamaru couldn’t help but pull Athena in for one more kiss before he pulled her in the direction of the kitchen.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Shikamaru walked Athena home, despite her claims that she could find her way home alright, only being able to make her agree when he asked which way she had to turn at the end of his street only for her to clutch Eros to her chest and let Shikamaru walk alongside her, calling out the directions as they went. 

Most of the walk back, Eros made it clear he wanted to walk and not be held, but whenever Athena whispered ‘please’ into his fur, he’d allow himself to stay tucked in her arms willingly for another few minutes or so. When he was allowed to walk up the stairs towards their apartment by himself, Eros stuck close by to watch his ‘mother’ shy away from her new companion and Shikamaru gave no sign of helping her up the steps or continuing a conversation now that they had arrived at her home. 

Standing at their front door, Athena unlocked it for Eros to run in and eat, to which the feline did eagerly, while she turned to face Shikamaru. The tension between the two was heavy and Athena tried to make it as clear as possible that she would allow, and appreciate, a show of affection, but as she thanked him for the multiple times he helped on her first, quite tumultuous, day, the most she got in return was a shrug. 

She was about to completely give up and just walk inside without saying anything more until she felt Shikamaru’s calloused hand upon her cheek, holding her head to stop it from turning as he placed a slow kiss upon the other. All too quickly, Shikamaru pulled away, his hands returning to his pockets, as he glanced down at his feet before turning to walk off, leaving Athena to stare after his figure, Eros joining as the first tear, signifying Athena’s deep confusion, hit the floor below her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as I'm sure many of you know, November is National Novel Writer's Month (NaNoWriMo) and I've decided to just use it as a fun push to increase/inspire my writing for this series and any other works I want to do in the future.
> 
> What this means for He and I: I'm going to update with chapter 9 next weekend, either saturday or sunday, as Nanowrimo starts Sunday in the UK, then I hope to update it every sunday for that month.
> 
> A new series? On a whim, I'm writing a No-Nut-November themed series within the He and I 'universe' when Athena and Shikamaru are already in an established relationship. It won't have any spoilers for He and I besides that they get together which shouldn't be a spoiler anyway because my heart is too fragile for any sign of significant angst eg. them not getting together.   
> This new series will update every day of November in short chapters. Not every day will be gripping sexual tension, but I'm aiming for it to be cute nonetheless with some spice sprinkled through.   
> I hope you guys will read and enjoy it! If you have any ideas or theories on how the series is going to play out, I'd love to hear them!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, I've started my 'No Nut November' fic!  
> It's called No Jizz Jutsu (I know 😂) and I'll be updating it every day of November!  
> Here's the link if you'd like to read it! https://archiveofourown.org/works/27334207/chapters/66785329
> 
> Anyway, on with THIS story!

Athena spent an hour or so crying from the events of her day, starting with the overwhelming kiss between her and Shikamaru, leading to the lack of affection on their walk way home, ending in finally remembering the new mark at the back of her tongue. Only being reminded of it when she had coughed due to her post-cry dry throat, and all the inflammation in the back of her mouth got agitated. The only reason she had been able to get a semi-decent sleep was when she leashed Eros up, letting him trot along beside her, as they headed to finally get some food for their small home in the early hours of the morning, causing her to come back exhausted from the physical exertion and promptly curling under her blanket and barely hearing her morning alarm.

Choosing a pair of trousers and a semi-professional t-shirt for her second day on the job, everything screamed in Athena’s head to just stay sat at her bare kitchen table, curious to see if anyone would actually come and check on her. Her mental health gripped at her brain as it yelled at her to start pushing people out and test them on if they really cared, on if they would make the effort to remember her. The only thing that really pushed her was Eros’s stubbornness to evade her capture when she tried to grab him for morning cuddles, knowing that once they both got comfortable, they wouldn’t separate until absolutely necessary.

Walking through the front entrance of the Hokage’s Tower was at least more enjoyable than the previous day, with only one of the guards from yesterday being present, trying to pretend for the sake of his oblivious colleague that he wasn’t terrified of the short, weak, civilian that strutted past, or of the company she kept. 

Needing the quick confidence boost, Athena was sure to whisper, “I’ll let your manager know how well you did this morning in comparison.” to the guard as she passed, smirking when he continued to stammer out mixtures of apologies and gratitudes when she was already out of ear shot.

Going into the shared kitchen where casual staff’s (Read: the ones without their own offices) pigeon holes were, she collected the one note left for her, written by the Hokage himself, simply letting her know which storage room to start with and to work at her own pace. Something Athena was happy to comply with when she could already feel her body sagging from the energy she consumed from her commute. Reaching into a cupboard and finding some plain white mugs among the many patterned and novelty ones, she quickly set about making herself a very sugary cup of coffee to at least keep her going for a few hours. In the short space of time she gave herself to enjoy her drink before going to see what hell awaited her in her assigned storage room, Shikamaru came in as bleary eyed as Athena had been. Obviously not noticing her sitting with her coffee nestled in a corner, Shikamaru went about making his own beverage, not noticing Athena’s eyes taking her sweet time watching his body and muscles move. 

Shikamaru was wrapped in his own thoughts as he made himself a cup of warm tea as the gears in his head turned over and over, thinking of the events of his dinner the previous nights.

_ “Shikamaru is just like his father, so I’m sorry if he comes off as rough around the edges,” Yoshino Nara laughed, obviously enjoying having female company for once, taking the chance to subtly play matchmaker for her oaf of a son. “But give him a chance to be smart around a pretty girl and he’ll be putty in your hands!” _

_ Athena hid her large smile by stuffing more food into her mouth, while Shikamaru did the same, but just to try and hide his embarrassment. The two women around him caught sight of his red-tipped ears however, and broke into laughter after catching each other's eye. The younger of the two turned her head and caught sight of the small shrine with a picture of who she assumed was Shikamaru’s father. She noted how alike they looked, minus the long scars across the older man’s face. Yoshino saw where their guest was looking, taking a moment to collect her thoughts before taking the time to ‘introduce’ her husband. _

_ “That’s my husband, Shikaku. He was killed during the war, along with Inoichi Yamanaka.” _

_ “Oh. I’m sorry for your loss.” Athena responded, turning her attention back to Yoshino, making it obvious that if the widow would like to continue talking about her late beloved, she was welcome to, something that further endeared Yoshino towards Athena. _

_ “I know he always would’ve preferred going the way he did. Though I think retired life would’ve suited him, every time he went away on a mission to fight, we always knew it could be his last.” Yoshino looked at her son from her peripheral vision, and while it would’ve merely looked like he was focused on his food to anyone else, as his mother, she could nearly hear his brain tick from the other side of the dinner table. “It’s just something you get used to when you marry a shinobi. That’s why I decided to retire when we started trying for Shikamaru. Shikaku always had such a high powered position in the village, so I wanted him to know that I’d always be here to look after our son if anything happened. Though I know he would’ve liked to hear the cries of some grandchildren before he went!” _

_ Athena gave a kind smile towards Yoshino, not hiding her want for further answers to her questions as well as she would’ve wanted. And as much as she wanted to entertain her, Yoshino’s eyes got caught on Shikamaru’s figure once more, taking his last few bites. Usually any teasing towards Shikamaru and his future family would’ve left him spluttering, but it was obvious he hadn’t heard any of it as his mind continued to work away inside his head. _

It wasn’t until he turned to lean against the counter and have his first sip of tea that Shikamaru caught sight of Athena, watching him with a broad grin, twinkling her fingers flirtatiously in greeting, which caused him to choke slightly as tea went down his windpipe in shock. After he had coughed the liquid out of his lungs, his ears caught Athena’s cackle from her corner of the room. Glancing as she scrunched her eyes shut and covered her mouth with her hand, Shikamaru knew it’d be so much harder to distance himself from her after hearing her laugh like that, especially while knowing that he had been the one to make her laugh like that, even if it was at his own expense.

“Yeah?” Athena teased, her laughter calming down until it only made itself known in small bursts.

“Yeah.” He responded, letting the last few coughs escape his system before trying to take another sip of his drink, enjoying the warmth as it ran down his throat.

Finishing her coffee and giving it a quick rinse in the sink beside Shikamaru, Athena tried to get their bodies to touch as much as possible in the small exchange. Pushing Shikamaru slightly with her hip, standing so her thigh would rest against his for a small moment, and yet when she turned to leave and say a brief goodbye, she was disappointed in the small nod of acknowledgement she got in return.

What she didn’t know was how desperate Shikamaru was to block her between his body and the counter and tease her into a kiss before letting her go on her way, or to bump his hip back against hers to make her laugh, and maybe play the hero if he accidentally hit her off balance and had to save her from plummeting to the floor.

But he had to stop. Even though everything in him wanted to replicate their kiss from last night, to be the one to carry her home, to be the one to touch her, he needed to stop.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Unlocking the store room that was now hers, complete with half-assed sign stating her name and how to contact her, Athena groaned as she turned on the light and smelt the stale air that she had become accustomed to when surrounded by historical documents. The sight that welcomed her was just about what she had expected. Boxes upon boxes with seemingly no order. However, as she walked through the room, stepping over piles of papers as she went, she learnt that while she had hoped whoever was her predecessor had just left the boxes in an  _ odd  _ order, she quickly learnt that they really had no order whatsoever.

“So my first day will be spent organising all this, huh? Great.” Athena said to herself, setting her notebook down on the step ladder by the door and then setting her portable radio atop it, trying to find a station that played music that wouldn’t drive her crazy in a few hours time. 

Finding something upbeat enough to keep her going, Athena quickly became lost in piling boxes atop other boxes, beginning to hum or sing the songs that played through her radio, not noticing when a pair of mismatched eyes began to watch her body move across the room. 

Sasuke watched Athena stop after every box to crack her back or her fingers, watched as she leaned against the metal shelves after she bent down and came back up to fast, catching her breath and trying to stop the headrush that’d hit her. He didn’t make his presence known until she released a whine into the air as she stretched once more, making a painful sounding crack come from her knee, causing her to stumble back into his awaiting arm as he moved from his resting spot against the door frame to just behind her.

“Shit!” Athena shouted, turning to face her saviour as his presence shocked more adrenaline into her. “Sasuke? You scared the ever loving fuck out of me!”

“And you kiss advisors with that mouth?” Sasuke leered back, letting her balance on his arm as she lowered herself to a bare patch on the floor, squatting beside her as she let out a loud gasp.

“Are you spying on me! That happened yester-” and the look on Sasuke’s face told her everything. He hadn’t known about her passionate kiss with Shikamaru. In fact, he was even a little surprised that they had even kissed so soon. He was merely intending to mock Athena for the heart eyes she wore around the man, but having caught her off guard and used her own trick against her, however unintentional, had been a far better outcome.

Watching Athena sulk next to him, letting her pretend to give him the silent treatment for a few minutes, Sasuke looked around and surveyed how much she must’ve done already with cleaning up the room. From the look of it, and from seeing the state of her body, she hadn’t had any help, which stood out when he connected it with what he knew of Shikamaru now that they were in their early twenties.

“So where’s your new fucktoy now? Thought you’d have him doing all this drudge work for you.” 

“... I assume he’s working.” Athena muttered, further confusing Sasuke, both with her tone and how she didn’t respond to his jab. Though he really didn’t know anything about romantic relationships, and he and Shikamaru had very little in common when it came to how they showed trust and affection, he could tell Athena wasn’t acting the way she usually did when someone she liked showed her affection.

Letting out a begrudging sigh, Sasuke asked what he knew he needed to if no one else was going to.

“Athena. What’s wrong?” Sasuke bluntly asked, only showing his worry when she didn’t look up at him to see that he was offering his hand to pull her to her feet. Visions went through his head of the few heartaches he had witnessed from her, knowing how bad Athena could spiral if she was left to her own devices. If Shikamaru had already sent her into the depths of depression on the third day she was in a new environment, all on her own, he wouldn’t hesitate to drag the man somewhere quiet to defend Athena’s honor.

Athena’s fingers touching the tips of his snapped him out of the beginnings of his murderous rage, quickly reacting and getting a better grip on her arm before pulling her up.

“I don’t know what I did.” And Athena’s watering eyes prompted Sasuke to poke her forehead with his index and middle finger, making her let out a small laugh as she leaned forward and bumped her forehead against his chest before they both stepped back, Sasuke letting a small smile grace his face to match her struggling one in exchange for not knowing how to help his friend other than standing in front of her in that moment.

Athena watched Sasuke turn and walk to the front of the room, expecting him to leave after their intimate moment, but was pleasantly surprised when he shrugged off his poncho and turned back to face her, nodding in the direction of the biggest mass of boxes. A brighter smile rose upon her face as she nodded back before walking towards the boxes, Sasuke following her, and began pointing at each box, explaining where she wanted it placed before Sasuke made a couple of clones and set about doing the grunt work for her. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

By the time Athena’s body had begun telling her it was time for her to nap or have a rest, Sasuke had moved most boxes into chronological order for her.

Rows upon rows of boxes now faced her along the few shelves in the room, ripped out pages of Athena’s notebook tucked into the seams with nonsensical scribbles reminding her of what they contained. Standing side by side, Sasuke shrugged his poncho back over his head before facing the same direction as Athena, towards the small stack of boxes with  _ Uchiha _ written in handwriting, or sometimes with only a crude drawing of the clan’s symbol upon the lid.

Turning towards each other and sharing a look, Sasuke knew he’d have to trust Athena to go through the boxes on her own. Trust that she’d come to him when she had enough information to actually make sense of it all, instead of him taking each document at face value and using it to fuel the tired hatred that still flickered in the back of his brain occasionally. 

In a practiced fashion, Sasuke passed Athena her notebook and radio, waiting for her to shove it all within her bag and check that she had the notes she needed to pick up where she had left off tomorrow, before opening the door for her and waiting patiently outside as she locked up. Perfectly in sync even after weeks apart.

Shikamaru saw the pair closing up as he walked down the hall, intending to check up on her progress and ask if she needed anything, feeling a little guilty about how outside of his personal feelings, he was still meant to be her supervisor. Making eye contact with Sasuke first, the Uchiha then nudged Athena with his foot so her attention could be turned towards the man coming towards them. She could feel Sasuke’s protective aura against her side, silently signalling that he’d follow her lead on whether she wanted him to go or not, but Athena didn’t have the energy in her to entertain a man that either made her heart pound faster, or made it shrivel and ache. Making a point of only giving Shikamaru a small wave, accompanied with a similarly small smile, Athena was quick to turn and link arms with Sasuke and started to pull him away, leaving Shikamaru to raise his hand to the now empty space. Athena walked a few paces before squeezing Sasuke’s bicep, signalling him to lean down to hear her.

“Everything hurts.” She muttered, feeling Sasuke lean back up to his full height next to her as he hummed in response, knowing that he’d understand the depth of her words.

As he waved to the air where Athena once stood, Shikamaru told himself he should be fine. If she distanced herself from him first, it should make it easier on him as he pulled further away, but seeing Sasuke turn his head slightly to listen to her mutter something to the taller man made his stomach drop. Deciding to turn and walk away to avert his eyes from what he began to imagine was the beginnings of a young couple, he missed Sasuke pulling his arm away, having enough of Athena’s affection, and Athena using the few seconds that her body had been turned to watch Shikamaru, walking away seemingly unbothered as her chest hurt and her throat tightened, the anxiety-led nausea making itself known.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I'm into double digits!
> 
> Also letting you know that my NaNoWriMo fic, No Jizz Jutsu, is now on chapter 8! So there's a nice little amount to binge

When Athena and Sasuke reached her apartment, Athena was quick to change into an oversized shirt, leaving her underwear on, and snuggling herself under the covers of her futon. The only noise that alerted Sasuke that this is where his friend had taken refuge was the telltale cracks coming from her joints as she lowered to the ground, and Eros’s sudden interest in checking on his mother, breaking from his endless loops around Sasuke’s legs.

Moving to sit in front of Athena’s head, meeting Eros’s concerned eyes as he perched on the pillow above her, Sasuke looked around the room to try and decide his next move. 

“Is Shikamaru the only cause of … all of this.” He asked, disgust evident on his face and in the tone of his voice. When he didn’t receive a response, he groaned and rose to his feet. 

“If you’re just going to sulk, I’m going. I’ve helped you enough today.” Hearing the sheets shift, he turned his head to see Athena’s pouty face appear from the depths of her bedding, obviously not enjoying having her only friend leave when she desperately didn’t want to be alone.

“How long until you leave again?” Athena asked, her tone blunt, conveying how she knew the answer would piss her off no matter how he answered.

“Tomorrow morning. It’s the only reason I came to see you today.” And while he didn’t want to admit it to himself, nonetheless anyone else, hearing Athena sniffle and scrunch her face to keep her emotions from overflowing again did make him guilty. “... C’mon, you idiot. I’ll take you to buy furniture. God knows you can’t do it yourself.” 

Hearing Athena giggle under her breath, followed by a groan as she stretched her back, multiple cracks and clicks echoed through the walls of her bedroom, Sasuke turned to face her fully, a smirk forming once more on his face naturally. “After a nap?”

“Yep, after a nap.” And just like that, Athena slammed back down onto her pillow and rolled on to her side to start drifting off, leaving Sasuke to go and find some way to fill an hour or two.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Out of the three of them, it was easy to see that it was Eros that had benefited the most from Athena’s nap because as soon as the clock hit an hour since she had dozed off, Sasuke had dragged Athena out of bed, meaning she didn’t have any cause for concern when Eros perched on Sasuke’s shoulders. He even had the sense to stay quiet and still, Sasuke becoming an unintentional accessory to his crime, until Athena remembered that she hadn’t let him out of their home without a leash since their arrival. The feline only grew happier still as Sasuke came to his aid when Athena’s anxiety rose slightly, uhh-ing and umm-ing about whether to take him home before continuing, the man stating that if Eros ran off, Sasuke would catch him easily before any harm could come to him.

And so the three of them were now traveling down the main street of Konoha, looking like a mismatched family unit as Athena browsed each furniture store, Sasuke choosing to remain quiet and just tag along.

As they were looking at a bedframe, they suddenly heard a loud shout of Sasuke’s name. The pair turned and saw a woman dressed in purple with long blonde hair walking quickly towards them. Stopping directly in front of them, the woman was quick to start getting in Eros’s space, cooing at him, petting his head as he tried to move away, even swatting his paws at her. Within half a minute, it had gotten too much for him, his ears sitting back against his head as he hissed loudly at her, making the woman finally step back, looking insulted.

When Athena approached Eros, still atop Sasuke’s shoulders, hoping to calm him down, it seemed like it was the first time the blonde had actually noticed her. Eros was quick to jump onto Athena’s shoulders, trilling and headbutting her face, deliberately making a show of his affection.

The blonde looked behind Sasuke and Athena to see Athena’s notebook of measurements lying on the sample bed before turning her gaze back to look over the couple again. Athena was quick to cut in, having seen many times how women could get around Sasuke.

“Hi, I’m Athena, I just moved here for a job at the Hokage’s Tower. And you are?” She made sure to smile politely as she outstretched her hand, trying not to make enemies just because of her proximity to Sasuke. 

“I’m Ino Yamanaka.” Ino responded, grasping Athena’s hand and giving her a smile in return.

“Oh, from the Yamanaka flower shop?”

“Yeah!”

“Oh, that’s awesome! I’ve been past there once already and remembered the name because of how beautiful it was. Once I’ve set up my apartment I was hoping to buy some flowers from your shop for my kitchen.” That wasn’t how Athena remembered her name. It’s true that she had been past the flower shop, but that was when Choji and Naruto were walking her towards her new home, and Choji had mentioned in passing that she was the third member of his team, along with Shikamaru.

Having felt the tension release from around the women, Sasuke took his chance to slither away, signalling for Eros to join him, taking Athena’s notebook with him, thinking it’d appear like he was helping when he’d probably just keep pacing until Athena had caught back up to him.

Ino noticed him leave and thought she might as well get some information while he was gone.

“Hey, are you single? I have some friends I could hook you up with. It’d be a great way to get used to the village!” Ino gushed, catching her prey off guard.

“Uh, yeah, I’m single. And I guess a date could be kinda fun…” She trailed off, not really wanting to think about other guys while she was still unsure of what was going on in her love life currently, but having someone take her out for a night sounded like a nice enough idea.

“Oh, that’s great! I have this one friend, he’s on my team, his name’s Shikamaru. He’s a bit boring, but you could at least have a date wherever you want since he’ll just tag along wherever.” If Athena’s face fell, Ino didn’t notice it as she carried on, “I’ll tell him about you and force him to take you out! And it’ll be easy since you both work in the same building. You might see him around, but he’s lazy, so maybe not unless you pass by his office.” Athena continued to stand there shell shocked. “Well, anyway, I’ll see you around, yeah? It was so nice meeting you!” Ino pulled Athena in for a tight hug and gave a wave before leaving as quickly as she came, oblivious to the anxiety now coming off of Athena in waves.

Turning slowly, questioning what the hell just happened, she locked eyes with Sasuke, who had heard Shikamaru’s name within Ino’s shouting and thought he’d stay close in case she broke down, and just vaguely gestured at him, not yet fully comprehending what just happened.

Watching with a small amount of amusement as Athena stuttered and tried to explain what she was feeling, Sasuke thought he’d just put her out of her misery.

“That’s Ino at her least annoying. You’ll get used to her incessant talking.” Giving a subtle chuckle at Athena’s defeated expression, he held out her notebook and proceeded to show her to the bookshelves.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yoshino knew her son sometimes got into a mood. He’d been doing it ever since he was a preteen, but seeing him light his third cigarette on the wooden panels going around the house? It really worried her.

“Shikamaru, has something happened?” He didn’t even open his eyes as he heard her voice, not unlike when he’d pretend to be asleep to get out of doing his chores. She moved to sit on the edge of the wood, just behind his head and reached her hand forward to stroke his hair, getting a couple strokes in before her hand was batted away harshly.

“Just leave me alone.” Shikamaru groaned, putting out his cigarette and rolling over to his side away from his mother.

“Shikamaru, you can always talk to m-”

“I don’t want to talk.” Taking a deep breath, Yoshino thought about her next words carefully, feeling that her son was close to snapping at her, truly showing how upset he was if he didn’t just go along with what she said so he could go back to being left alone.

“We have to rely on each other, we only have each other now.” Shikamaru sat up sharply, leaning one arm on his bent knee.

“Yeah, I get it. We’ll only ever have each other. Asuma’s dead. Dad’s dead. What are you going to do when I die too, huh!?” He yelled, turning to glare at his mother as he spat his last comment at her. Seeing her eyes get glossy with the very beginnings of tears made him falter, but he was still filled with anger and grief and didn’t know what to do with it. 

Getting to his feet, Shikamaru headed to the front door to leave, knowing that he’d just get angrier the more he was around anyone.

Sitting down to pull on his shoes, he lifted his head as the door slid open, Ino grinning widely down at him.

“Oh, are you going out? Perfect! I’ve got something to talk to you about while we walk.” 

“Ino, I’m not in the mood. Just tell me now.”

“You’re never in the mood, you’re always so-”

“Ino. Just say what you have to say.” Shikamaru gritted his teeth, knowing that Ino had shown up not knowing how short his rope was getting.

“O-okay… Well, I met this girl today and I’m gonna invite her to our team dinner! So show up and be on your best behaviour!”

“Cool. Whatever.” And without another word, Shikamaru walked past his teammate, violently bumping her shoulder when she didn’t move out of his way.

Ino watched him walk away, hands deep in his pockets, already getting ready to light his next cigarette, before turning to look to his mother for answers, only for Yoshino to stare back at her with a shrug. She didn’t know what had caused her son to start lashing out, but she could tell that Ino was just as worried as she was.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Shikamaru had already drifted in and out of sleep a few times, laying underneath a tree in a deeper part of the training grounds. He had resisted lighting up another cigarette, but after his fifth one, he threw them out of his reach, knowing that he had a habit of just smoking one after another if he had zoned out enough, his mind not really registering the difference between him playing with Asuma’s lighter, and actually using it.

He closed his eyes once he heard footsteps approaching his hidden cloud-watching spot, hoping that whoever it was would leave him to ‘sleep’ in peace, but from the noises that came out of the person as they sat down beside him, he was okay with them staying in his vicinity. 

Choji didn’t say a word, giving his friend time to decide when he was ready to talk.

“Did my mum send you?” Shikamaru didn’t bother with opening his eyes, more than happy to look at the darkness behind his eyelids for a bit longer.

“Yeah. She’s pretty worried about you. So is Ino.”

“Shit. What’s it gonna cost me to get back in Ino’s good book?”

“From how worried she is, I think she’d just accept an apology.” Shikamaru hummed in reply, letting the silence fall over the two of them for a few minutes. Deciding he’d rather talk over everything with his friend rather than just seething quietly, Shikamaru sat up, pushing his back against the tree, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Choji as he offered Shikamaru some chips, which he took happily.

“Is it about the new girl?” Choji asked, not brave enough to say her name yet in case Shikamaru shut himself back down at the mention of it.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t remember you ever acting this way with Temari,”

“I didn’t feel this way about Temari. It’s why I broke up with her.” Shikamaru sighed, trying to get his thoughts together in a way that was intelligible. “I’ve started pushing her away, so hopefully it’ll just go away.”

“You’re pushing her away?” Noticing that Shikamaru was intent to stay quiet was enough of an answer for Choji to continue. “But I thought you really liked her?”

“I do really like her, but I don’t want to rope her in to all this.” Shikamaru’s feelings flared up when he actually spoke his reason out into the open air, leading him to putting his hands over his face as if he’d be able to hide away from the millions of thoughts flying around in his head.

“What’s ‘all this’?”

“Athena had dinner with my mum and I, and mum was talking about all this shit she had to be prepared for in case dad was killed in action.” Shikamaru dropped his head between his bent knees so he could hide his face from his friend, too embarrassed by how upset he was getting over a girl he’d known less than a week. “I can’t do that to her.”

“Why? Because she isn’t a ninja?” Again, Shikamaru stayed silent. Choji tried to think of a way to say what he wanted to say, while also not betraying Athena’s trust. “I think you’d be surprised how tough she is,” he paused as Shikamaru moved to lie down again, facing away from his friend. “And we’re in a time of peace. And you’re working for the Hokage, so you’re not going on many missions anymore.” Still nothing. “It’s your choice, Shikamaru, but the ways you and your dad lived is so different, and I’d really hate for you to miss out on being happy because you wouldn’t give it a chance.”

Releasing a sigh, Choji stood up, looking over his best friend, noticing that his eyes were still open and blinking, but he was just staring into the middle distance. 

“I’m going, but I hope you’ll still come to dinner tomorrow night.” As Choji turned and said a final goodbye, he now knew why Ino and Yoshino had been so worried, he himself was probably worrying the most now.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter isn't that great

_ Knock knock knock _

Eros ran from Athena’s side to go stand by the door, balancing on his hind legs and putting his paws against it as if he’d be able to see who was outside if he were just a bit taller. Athena had still been lying in bed. It took most of her energy to slide herself out of the futon, chuck any clothes she could find on her body, and go answer the door.

Picking up Eros like a baby to stop him from running out, they were both met with Ino’s bright smile, her hands holding a beautiful bouquet.

“Hi! I planned that dinner with my friend for tonight, so you have to come! I’ve already told everyone else that I’m bringing someone extra, so now you have to come.” 

“Actually, Ino, about coming to dinne-,”

“What, don’t you want to come? Don’t worry, my other teammate and I will be there if you’re nervous.” Well, Athena did need to try and meet some new people, and Choji would be there, so she could just ignore Shikamaru and talk to him. Plus, was she really going to say no to the possibility of a free meal?

“Umm, okay. What should I wear?”

“Oh don’t worry about that. Just something casual. Oh, I guess I kinda forgot to tell you where we’re going. It’s the BBQ place just in front of the bridge, you can’t miss it.” As much as Athena teased Sasuke for attracting so many women, she felt bad if he did have to deal with this much talking all through his days at the academy. “Oh, and these are for your kitchen!” Ino thrust the bouquet towards her, Athena having to let Eros dangle from her arm as she took it from her, before scooping his bum up and back into her arms.

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight!” Just before Ino walked away, Athena realised something.

“Wait, how did you know this is where I was staying?”

“I asked Sasuke when I saw him by the gate as he was leaving!” Giving a small wave, Ino headed towards the stairs leading back down to the village, leaving Athena to step back inside and close the door with her foot, still a bit bewildered by the encounter.

Placing Eros back on the floor, she walked to the kitchen intending to put the flowers in some water, that was until she realised she didn’t have a vase yet. She didn’t even have any glasses that’d accommodate the huge bouquet in front of her, so she just placed it on the small table in the middle of the room. 

Athena just stood, eyes becoming unfocused the longer she stared at the flowers, standing completely still, watching the colours blur together. Eros squeaked at her a few times before she finally turned and smiled at him, crouching down to scritch under his chin and plant a few kisses between his ears. 

It was just turning 10am, giving her about ten hours before she was meeting Ino and Choji for dinner. Deciding that she’d much rather work than self destruct during that time, she moved to the shower to properly wake herself up.

As she dried herself off afterwards, she picked out something to wear. She tried to stray from her cutesy dresses that she would’ve wanted to wear on a first date, but she kept coming back to them. Compromising between her and herself, she decided on a plain-ish summer dress, one that showed a ‘casual’ amount of cleavage. Whether she decided to flirt with Shikamaru, or pick a fight, she sure as hell was going to show him what he was missing out on. 

Athena packed her bag with everything she’d need to actually start working, as well as shoving some basic make up in, still not sure if she’d wear it in the evening, but she figured better safe than sorry. After grabbing a pair of shoes and kissing Eros, who seemed to be more content with the idea of staying at home today, she left her apartment feeling just a bit more in control than she had previously.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Athena had spent the last nine hours either sorting through every single file, paper, and scroll concerning  _ anything _ about the Uchiha clan, reading through them and jotting down any notes that felt important, or she would sit at her desk and stare out the window, her brain whisking her away everytime she got even the slightest bit restless. She had also spent a substantial amount of time watching the clock that sat on her desk, her eyes mindlessly watching as the hands moved past each number.

When the clock finally hit 7:30pm, Athena made the final call to wear some makeup, wanting to generate as much confidence as possible for her to get through the night ahead. After she had locked up and made her way down the stairs, she allowed herself to stand out in the fresh air to get her bearings before beginning to walk down to the bridge Ino had mentioned, hoping she was thinking of the right one.

When she arrived, she immediately breathed a sigh of relief that she had gotten there before her ‘date’, hoping she could do some last minute recon with Choji. Her night had officially started when she heard Ino yell her name, looking up to see the blonde woman dash towards her before she grabbed her hand and started quickly walking back towards Choji, who stood outside the restaurant. From the look on his face, Athena figured it would’ve been a safe bet to make that Ino hadn’t told him  _ who  _ the mystery girl was that she was so set on trying to hook up with Shikamaru. He almost wanted to laugh at how the universe just kept pushing them back together each time they strayed.

“Choji! This is Athena, Athena this is Choji.” Both of them wordlessly made the decision to not mention that they had already met, letting the blonde fill the silence between them as she talked.

“Hey, I’m going to put our order in so it’s nearly ready once Shikamaru gets here. Choji, you look after her.” As soon as Ino had gone far enough into the crowd of people that they could talk without her hearing, Athena immediately turned to Choji, desperately asking him what to do next.

“So, should I run now in the time that I have left?” 

“Why would you run?” Choji asked, curious to see what Athena’s take on his friend’s movements were.

“Because I did something wrong, or he hates me? I don’t know!” Before Choji could think of a response for her, something that’d keep the peace between the both of them, he saw his best friend just far away enough that he wouldn’t have heard what they were just saying.

“Hey Shikamaru! Look who Ino invited!” Athena took a deep breath before she turned and gave him her nicest smile and a small wave, trying to bottle up every thought that was telling her to scream at him until she got answers.

Shikamaru stopped a few feet away, a bit shocked that Ino had somehow found Athena out of every girl in the village. All he felt he could do in return was give her a tight lipped smile, acknowledging her presence, and luckily that was all he had time to do as Ino popped her head out and invited everyone in, still completely unaware of the situation she had created.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Even with all three of them trying to subtly change her desired seating plan, Ino still got her way when Shikamaru and Athena sat next to each other in the cramped booth. How she still couldn’t feel the palpable tension in the air, none of them knew. 

They had only sat for a minute when their plates of meat had come, Choji happily taking them from the waiter and starting to cook his first serving.

“Athena, have you had BBQ before?” Shikamaru and Choji really didn’t like the slight bit of sugar sprinkled throughout her question, alerting them that Ino wasn’t just asking to be polite.

“Yeah, but not for a while, so I’m sorry if I do something wrong.”

“It’s okay, I’ll help you if you need it!” Choji reassured, intent on providing her some sort of lifeline, but Ino quickly yanked it away before Athena could take it.

“Oh, but it’d be so much easier for the person beside her to help,  _ right Shikamaru _ ?” Shikamaru knew he was backed into a corner and had no way out, so he decided to just grit his teeth and wait for this ‘date’ to be over.

“Yeah, I’ll help. What do you want?” Athena’s immediate reaction was to tell him that she could do it herself, but then she decided to enjoy watching him do this against his will. If he was going to be a dick to her, she was going to be a dick to him.

“Hmm, I’ll let you choose. You won’t lead me astray, right?” Athena’s subtle quip towards Shikamaru had hit him harder than he thought it would, but he still rationalised that any pain he caused her now would be better than hurting her later. It was hard to keep his face neutral, but he just focused on cooking her food, selfishly enjoying sitting next to her in this moment. 

“So, Athena, what’s your new fancy job like?” Ino asked, supporting her head with her hands, staring between Athena and Shikamaru, who were both trying to keep their bodies away from each other so they wouldn’t touch.

“Umm, I’ve mostly just been organising things so far, so I still don’t feel like I’ve really started.”

“Aww, that’s a boring answer.” Athena didn’t pay Ino any mind, just deciding to turn her head and look over the other tables, not saying anything as she felt her plate being taken from in front of her. She only turned her head back towards the table when her plate was set back down, muttering a ‘thanks’ under her breath as Shikamaru got his own meat.

He was a bit anxious serving up her food, even though he’d done this a thousand times, but when her ponytail flicked back over her shoulder as she turned her head back towards the table, he became distracted by the scent of her shampoo or her perfume as her movement flung the scent further towards him.

Ino was desperate to try and get something to happen between the two, even when Choji was trying so hard to give her some clue to make her stop.

“So, how do you know Sasuke?” Shikamaru knew Ino was just trying to make conversation, also trying to get information on her long time crush, but after seeing them together, so in sync with each other, this was going to be the question that made him snap depending on how she answered.

“We’ve known each other for a while. He’s actually the one who gave my name to the Hokage.”

“Yeah, ‘known each other’.” Shikamaru muttered under his breath, shoving a piece of food in his mouth.

“Excuse me?” Athena could feel her anger rising, the adrenaline from an oncoming panic attack that had already been simmering, fueling her ‘fight’ instinct. 

“How well do you ‘know each other’ really? Because you’ll do anything to get information, right?” Ino called out Shikamaru’s name, shocked by the way he was speaking to Athena.

“Yeah, because I was a woman trying to survive-”

“Well you seem pretty shitty at it.”

“Sometimes it’s hard because you can really never trust men, so what about you? Do you take every vulnerable woman home, _kiss them_ , and then begin ignoring them, even as you walk them home?”

Choji just had to keep his head down, putting a hand on Ino’s arm so she didn’t get involved. If they said anything to the two of them, it could very quickly escalate the situation.

“Yeah, because there’s no examples of you manipulating people, huh?”

Athena couldn’t take it anymore. Without another word she grabbed her bag from the floor and stood, but if this was the last chance she’d get to say something to him, she might as well take it. What else did she have to lose?

“Look, Shikamaru, I get that I slept around to get the information I needed, but I actually fucking liked you. My mistake, I guess; Thanks for inviting me, Ino.” 

As Athena left, Ino still had her mouth agape in shock, while Choji just kept his eyes on Shikamaru as his friend put his head in his hands, elbows on the table to support him.

“Is that really what you wanted to happen, Shikamaru?” Choji challenged, a bit upset that this was the route his friend had taken. Shikamaru didn’t answer, just kept his face blank as he started eating again, hoping Choji would ignore Shikamaru’s subtle attempts at keeping his watering eyes from overflowing.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As soon as the door opened, Eros knew something was wrong. Athena removed her shoes and dropped her bag where she stood, her eyes puffy and red, a few sheer lines of mascara trailed down her cheeks.

Usually Eros would have already been picked up in her arms right now, or he’d at least be purring from her scratching his head, but she just silently moved through the apartment until she collapsed into her bed. She didn’t even bother taking her dress off. 

Eros went and sat beside her head, nudging her with his snout every now and then until she slowly lifted her arm and gave his fur lazy strokes with the back of her fingers.

_ Knock knock knock _

Athena didn’t even really remember how she had gotten to the door, her brain too exhausted to bother making memories it wouldn’t keep, but she’s glad she was there to open the door in the first place as, sitting directly in front of her door, was a plastic container filled BBQ meat, still steaming hot. She poked her head out, looking around all of her floor, but there was no sight of whoever had delivered it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, the end of the year just got ahead of me, but I've got a plan so hopefully no more long breaks 🤞

The day after the disastrous dinner, Athena walked into work with her head down. She didn’t bother with her make up, or with how she was dressed; her body and mind was exhausted and she didn’t see any reason to mask her feelings. In fact, she was hoping her outward appearance would aid her efforts in keeping people away from her. 

Unlocking the storage room and trudging inside, she looked around at the boxes that still needed her attention and groaned. As she paced down the line of shelves, skimming her eyes over each of her hand written notes wedged under each lid, she stopped at the one that had a name written in large capital letters. When she had looked through the box quickly the other day, one name stood out, often accompanied by the third Hokage’s. 

Danzō Shimura.

Heaving the box off of the shelf and on to the floor, she stared at it, slightly bewildered by its weight. Athena settled herself down on the floor, crossing her legs and shuffling herself forward until the box touched her shins, lifting the lid gently. Looking in, she picked up the folder that lay on the top, flipping the cover open and gasping at what lay in front of her.

Photographs of an elderly man’s corpse, marked as Danzō Shimura’s, lying on top of an autopsy table, were slipped inside a plastic sleeve at the front of the folder. Slipping all of the photos out of the sleeve and into her hand, she proceeded to spread them on the floor around her. 

It was obvious to her that the autopsy of the body was being performed by an ANBU surgeon. Some of the materials used to strip a body of it’s identity, thus keeping the village’s secrets safe, appeared in the background of some of the pictures. What stood out the most to her in all of the pictures was the deformed arm of the man, eyes stuffed into the bloated skin. It was only once the photos showed a cross section of the arm that she realised why the eyes had been implanted, a shot of chakra being administered through the muscle of the arm, allowed the colours and patterning of the eyes to be displayed. 

Each sharingan eye lit up beautifully from within the photo. The bright red was a stark contrast to the bloated, decaying body they were attached to. Looking over the other pictures, her heart ached when she caught sight of a photo with a single annotation on it. The photograph depicted Danzō’s eye pulled open with some surgical instruments so the camera could get a clear view of the sharingan eye implanted within. It was marked simply with a black line directing the viewer to the name of the eyes original owner: Shisui Uchiha. 

Throughout every piece of information she had acquired about the Uchiha Massacre, Shisui’s name was always written along with it. It usually referred to him as Itachi’s first victim. To think that this man had gotten his hands on so many sacred eyes of the Uchiha and implanted them directly into his body, as if they were something to collect. That alone caused Athena enough anguish, but to see that he had also been able to take one of Shisui’s eyes before his death? It sickened her. He had made such a grave sacrifice for Itachi and his clan. The thought of this man taking such an important body part from him for his own personal gain was despicable. 

Athena made her way through the entire box, eyebrows furrowed so tightly that she was left with a pulsing headache by the time she had finally lifted her head to see the colours of the setting sun through the window. The pounding in her head only got worse when she turned it quickly towards the sound of her door opening. She noted the Chunin’s shocked reaction at seeing the guest she was meant to collect sat on the floor, surrounded by detailed autopsy sketches and scrolls all written in the tiniest handwriting imaginable.

“Uh, sorry to interrupt you Miss, but Lord Hokage has called for you.” The young assistant explained nervously, standing anxiously as Athena’s eyes stared blankly at her while her brain processed her words. 

Thanking the Chunin emotionlessly, Athena gathered her papers into a rough pile and set them to the side before slowly rising from the floor and signalling to the Chunin to lead her to the Hokage’s office, locking the door behind her. 

Athena caught her reflection in a few of the windows as she made her way to meet with the Hokage. From what she could see, it was obvious she was exhausted, but she hoped she was right in thinking she looked acceptable enough for whatever she faced once she stepped into his office. She just needed to hold her head up and fake her confidence for the next five to ten minutes. After that she could disappear back into her dark, cramped storage room, only the words and the paper they lay on witnessing the emotions she hid once her mask of indifference had slipped back off.

Correcting her posture as her Chunin escort reached for the door to the Hokage’s office and opened it for her, Athena cursed inwardly when she saw Shikamaru’s frame standing to the side of the room. She only glimpsed at him for a second, hoping it was quick enough for him to have not noticed, before she walked further into the room and smiled politely at the unknown blonde woman present. The woman returned her smile and stepped to the right, allowing Athena to stand as an equal beside her. 

Taking her place in front of the Hokage, Athena could almost feel the blonde’s gaze as it combed over her skin, looking her up and down before her eyes faced forward once more as Kakashi began to speak.

“Temari, I would like to introduce you to Athena, Konoha’s newly appointed historian. Athena, this is Temari, Suna’s ambassador for Konoha.” Both women exchanged greetings quickly before turning their heads back towards the Hokage. “Well then, now that you two are acquainted; Temari needs your assistance with finding out some information, Athena. Do you think you’d be able to help her?”

“It depends on what information you need, and it might take me a few days as I’ve only just started sorting through the boxes,” Athena explained, turning her head to address Temari directly.

“I’m looking for any information Konoha has about when the First Hokage traded away the Tailed Beasts that were in his possession.”

“Well, I’ll need access to the main archives to get those, because I have next to nothing about Konoha’s history before the Third Hokage in the storage room I was given access to.” She aimed the latter part of her sentence towards Kakashi, knowing that he would ultimately be making the final decision about whether she was going to be shown the main archives room. Athena felt relatively confident that he wouldn’t pass Temari’s assignment on to somebody else. However, she was more than fine with being left alone to go back to her small, cramped storage room if it meant she could continue to go through everything at her own pace if Kakashi did decide to move it up the ladder.

“I have no problem with that,” he replied, “but you, Athena, will need an escort.”

Athena's knee-jerk reaction was to glance sidelong at Shikamaru, unable to hide her irritation at her lack of choice of escort. Kakashi must have noticed, she realised, bringing her attention back to him; his eyebrow quirked just slightly before he spoke again.

“Shikamaru, you will still be Temari’s escort, if that still works for the two of you. Athena, I’ll have someone from the Intelligence Division escort and stay with you.” He said before letting them leave, noticing that Athena had already opened the door and left as Temari and Shikamaru were thanking him respectfully. 

The Hokage watched the pair as they left his office, noticing Shikamaru’s quick look around the room, and his glance down both hallways that intersected the entrance of the Hokage’s Office, before finally acknowledging Temari and asking her where she needed to go as the door closed behind them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Athena had just begun going through her next box of files, having already written up an extensive summary of what her document about Danzō Shimura would include, when there was a knock on the storage room’s door. Calling out for the person to come in, only to exhale deeply as she recognised the face that popped through.

Ino only smiled towards Athena with only one corner of her mouth, obviously feeling awkward about having to be her supervisor for the day after the events of the previous night. Athena gave a tight lipped smile in return, reminding herself over and over in her head that Ino didn’t know anything about what had happened between her and Shikamaru. She had genuinely been trying to help her settle into the village and make some friends.

“Give me a minute to grab what I’ll need.” Athena told Ino wearily as she started packing up the box that, unfortunately, would have to be looked at another time. Grabbing a few different pencils, an eraser, and one of her notebooks that hadn’t been as used as the others. A thought popped in her head before she turned to her small desk in the corner, grabbing the pair of glasses that she was constantly forgetting, placing them on her face for ease. She had only had a couple of chances to read through some of the scrolls that were written before the Third Hokage’s appointment, and the handwriting was tight and loopy both times, causing her eyes to hurt from unconscious squinting. The least she could do to care for her body today, when she felt run down and awful, was to actually remember the accessory that reduced the strain she was about to put her eyes through. 

Although Ino stood politely as Athena locked the door behind her, Athena noticed the worried looks directed at her own feet as they started walking through the curved hallways. She could hear Ino’s mouth open a few times, always closing it a second later. Athena was far too tired to wait for her to bring it up, so she just smashed the ice herself.

“Look, Ino. I don’t blame you, and I’m not angry at you. You were trying to help me settle in and you didn’t know anything about… us, so just stop worrying about it.”

Both women stopped for a second, Ino recognising the apathy in Athena’s eyes, before she had to pick up her pace to keep up as the shorter woman started walking again. 

Athena’s words, and the events of the previous night, swam around in Ino’s head the whole journey to the Main Archives. She was intrigued by what Shikamaru saw in her, and what about her, and whatever their relationship was, had caused him to be so volatile. Ino was aware that Athena wasn’t a shinobi, and that she had moved to Konoha less than a week ago for this job, but she really didn’t know anything else about the woman, and certainly not enough to form her own opinion about her.

Finishing the walk up to the hidden entrance carved into the base of the mountain, Ino watched as Athena took in her surroundings once they stepped through the door. Running the tips of her fingers along the jagged rock that made up the walls leading towards the archives, Athena wore the softest look Ino had seen her wear all day. Her fascination was clear from the way her eyes darted around, taking in every side door, every sign, every nick in the walls and crack in the floor. This continued their whole walk up to the first guard, Athena only bringing her attention back when she was called to sign her name in the Archives log book.

Ino opened and held the door for Athena, her mouth gently lifting as she watched Athena’s eyes widen, lips parting, as she took in the large room. Long lines of mobile shelving units stretched across the entire length of the room in three rows, some having already been pulled apart, revealing the boxes and files filling the shelves as a few other people milled about between them. 

“Ah, a new face!” An elderly woman called out, chuckling quietly at the excitement covering Athena’s face, her smile still not slipping off as she greeted the woman, now known to be the archivist, politely. Ino stood behind the pair and watched their conversation from her position closer to the entrance they had just come through, intrigued by how fluidly they were able to speak to each other. It didn’t take long for Athena to be able to articulate what she had come for, and from there they quickly began moving as Athena began following the archivist closely, leaving Ino behind, only looking back once to check whether or not the blonde was following her.

The storage shelves they stopped in front of were right at the back of the room, dusty and dimly lit from its distinct lack of visitors. The hinges squeaked loudly as Ino and the archivist pried two of them apart, a cloud of dust being released into the air as Athena began to squeeze through, not even waiting for the storage cases to be locked into place. The archivist smiled at Athena’s form before she opened her mouth to speak, only to be cut off by Athena herself.

“Do you need me to wear gloves before I start touching things?” Athena queried, not even looking at the woman she was addressing as she stood on the tips of her toes. Her fingers gently held on to the edge of the highest shelf as she peered up, before dusting them off on the fabric of her clothing once she had settled down on to the flats of her feet once more.

“Uh, yes. Yes, you do. Do you need me to grab you a pair?” The archivist spent most of her day chasing after the people who visited her with a box of gloves, so she was even further surprised when Athena shook her head and pulled her own pair of gloves from the depths of her bag. 

Athena seemed to slip into a trance from there, wordlessly pulling books and flicking through each one before either putting it back in its place, or adding it to the small pile of books beginning to form atop the other books she hadn’t gotten to yet. Ino had rambled on for a few sentences before her voice finally penetrated Athena’s bubble, allowing her to hear the end of Ino’s discussion with herself.

“I just don’t get what’s so special about this stuff. I know it’s important, but why would you want to devote your entire life to huge piles of paper with dead people’s words on them? Shouldn’t we focus on the here and now?”

“‘A generation which ignores history has no past and no future.’ Do you know what that means? ” Athena wondered aloud, closing the book in her hand and adding it to her pile. Gathering the tower of weathered books in her arms, she carried them to one of the tables nearby that was awash with light. 

Ino followed quietly, her stomach fluttering as Athena’s words played over and over in her head. Her eyes widened slightly when Athena had placed down her books and turned to address Ino directly. The position she took up, her knee rising to rest on the chair she had just pulled out, her opposite arm supporting her from its place on the table, her back straight and her lips twisted wickedly towards Ino before she answered for her.

“It means that no matter how strong, and smart, and brave you shinobi think you are, you’ll never get any further without people like me; The people who watched every one of your predecessors fall, and will watch you fall amongst them if you don’t choose to learn from their failures.”

As Athena turned away and sat down to start reading, Ino released the breath she didn’t even notice she’d been holding. Through the sound of her racing heart and the feeling of her stomach flipping over, only one thought formed clearly in her mind.

If Shikamaru didn’t get his shit together and make things right with Athena, Ino was tempted to just keep her to herself.


	13. Chapter 13

Watching Athena work was fascinating to Ino. She did most of it in silence, only the pages of each book turning, but the ones she made with her own voice were Ino’s favourite. 

The darkened archives would be silent, only a few of the lights remaining on as the afternoon turned into evening. The other shinobi would have already left, desperate to end their work day, but Athena didn’t even bat an eye as they rushed out. It seemed that once they were gone was when she flourished, as it wasn’t long after the archives emptied out that the first gasp came.

The noise had spooked Ino at first. She had just been sitting, staring at her nails, when her attention was jolted towards Athena as she loudly gasped, mouth open, book lifted closer to her face, her eyes twinkling brightly. From there she’d violently push her chair back, sometimes causing it to nearly fall most times she did it, before her and her book would go for a wander.

Occasionally the archivist would come up to stand beside Ino as she trailed after Athena, watching the petite woman move each storage shelf with minimal effort as she looked for her next read. The archivist mumbled a few times about taking Athena under her wing. From what Ino could gather, she was looking for an apprentice to train up. The archivist refused to confirm or deny this when she asked. 

It was obvious that Athena knew what she was doing, even if neither the archivist nor Ino knew where she could have learnt it from. From what they both knew, Ku-Ring-Gai wasn’t really known for having a large archive space. It seemed to only have a small library, at most.

“So, what’s your hometown like?” Ino asked loudly. She’d tried everything to get Athena’s attention whilst she was fixated on her work, and only one thing seemed to work to her knowledge. Loud noises. This was further proven when a set of shelves were recklessly slammed together. And while there was the possibility that Athena had just been disgusted at how the shelves had been treated, Ino ran with her ‘loud noise’ theory. It had been working thus far, anyway.

“Hmm? Oh, it was pretty boring.” Athena answered listlessly, her eyes only flicking up once towards Ino. Undeterred, Ino continued.

“How’d you get into-” she paused to gesture towards the books scattered in front of her, effectively pulling the other woman’s eyes away from them, “- all of this anyway?”

“Eh, I’ve just always liked reading. Went to the library a lot to get away from everything. Eventually found myself in the non-fiction section and rarely went anywhere else since.” Ino stayed silent, thinking over her next inquiry. Athena noted this and finished writing her final sentence for the night, eager to shorten Ino’s line of enquiry. “If you want to ask why I know my way around an archive, just ask, Ino.”

“Fine. How do you know your way around the archives so well?” Ino huffed, “it’s not exactly easy to move the shelves around.”

“Yeah, these shelves are a bit stubborn.” Athena muttered as she leaned back in her chair and stretched her arms behind her. “But I worked at the archives for the Village Hidden in the Grass. Well, I say worked.” She paused to smirk, watching the space between Ino’s brows crease as she focused on Athena’s words, “It was more I just showed up at their door, said I was there to help, and then just followed every order they gave me.”

“Wait, when was this?”

“About three or four years ago, I was newly sixteen.”

“So you were there-”

“During the time Orochimaru had a hideout there? Yeah, not that I knew that at the time. However, I do think he was the reason I only got to stay there for three months before they said I couldn’t have access to the archives any longer.”

Ino was shocked. Not at the information that Athena had been in such close contact with the Snake Sannin, no, she was shocked by how calmly she deposited that information. Her body language was still relaxed and open. It was obvious to her that Athena’s demeanor could be due to the tiredness starting to take over her, but she still wasn’t exhibiting any stress reactions. No shimmer of sweat, no biting at her lip or cheek, not even as much as a tremble from any of her limbs. 

Ino had never had to fight Orochimaru. She’d never even been in his presence. But his name still made her heart beat faster, her body pumping adrenaline to prepare her body for her fight or flight reaction. 

Athena let Ino stay silent. She didn’t bother prompting the conversation further, trying to ignore the feeling her eyes left as the kunoichi continued to look her over. It wasn’t until Athena actually rose from her chair that Ino seemed to be actively paying attention again.

“I’m going to ask the archivist to put these to the side for me, and then I’ll be ready to go.” Athena only received a small nod as she picked up the books and moved out of Ino’s sight. When she returned, Ino was looking over her notes. It was clear she was trying to be nice and sort out Athena’s personal things, but had gotten distracted by her pages of scribbles.

“It’s only my notes, so I know they’re messy and probably hard to understand, but what do you think?”

“Shikamaru mentioned a few times that Temari was very detail oriented, so I actually think she’ll really appreciate all of these ‘scribbles’.”

Ino smiled up at Athena before she started gathering her things again, needing an extra five or so seconds to realise what she had said.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned him. I’m so, so sorry. I tru-”

“Ino. Relax. It’s okay, I know you didn’t have any malicious intent.” She sighed. It was clear Ino was still upset with herself, but Athena just motioned for her things. She didn’t have it in her to continue consoling the blonde.

Saying a polite goodbye to the archivist, Athena pushed the door of the archives open, holding it behind her for Ino to come through. Walking side by side, Athena flipped her question over in her head like a coin, trying to decide between whether to ask it or to stay quiet. It took the entire walk from the archives to the cave entrance for her to completely re-work her words until she felt comfortable enough to say them aloud.

“So after this, should I expect to be doing more research for Temari? Or does she not come to the village that often?”

“No, she comes pretty often since Suna and Konoha are such close allies, so I’d expect you to get a few more requests from her.”

“Heh, you make it sound like I’ll be in those archives helping foreign dignitaries more often than I’ll be in the storage cupboard they actually asked me to clean up.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be fine! Plus, she doesn’t come around as often as she used to now that she and Shikamaru have broken up.”

If Ino noticed Athena’s steps falter for a moment, she didn’t make it known. Athena didn’t even think Ino had noticed she had said his name again. The blonde just continued walking a step ahead of her. She didn’t see Athena needing to catch herself as her vision swirled for a moment. Nor did it seem like she noticed as Athena’s mood plummeted.

Ino took Athena’s excuses of tiredness at face value after she had offered to walk Athena to her door. Waving goodbye, Athena was just glad that Ino wouldn’t see her if she fainted as soon as she opened her door, which she nearly did. Even Eros could sense the large amounts of self loathing seeping out of her pores in waves. 

Watching her crash onto her bed, Eros didn’t bother signaling to his mother that she hadn’t set her alarm for the morning. Instead he just curled himself up as close to Athena’s face as he could. Eros licked as many tears off of her cheeks as she’d let him as he brought her as much comfort as he could. He stayed tucked under her chin, her leftover tears wetting the fur on his head, long after she had already cried herself to sleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Athena woke late the next morning. She had forgotten what had made her so desperate to drift to sleep, at least for a few minutes. Stripping out of the previous days’ clothes and stepping into the shower was what had brought it back to the forefront of her mind. The thoughts only got louder as she gently lowered herself to the shower floor.

She knew she wasn’t a shinobi. She wasn’t born with enough chakra to even be able to perform basic jutsu. But, from what she had heard about Shikamaru’s abilities, while his mind was the strongest thing about him, his physical abilities were nothing to scoff at. It made sense why Temari and he were together. While Temari wasn’t as thin as Ino, it was obvious from a glance that she was strong. And she must have been smart to be the ambassador for Suna. You’d have to be intelligent and level-headed to be relied on to make decisions on the Kazekage’s behalf.

Looking down at herself, body bundled up on the tiles, she couldn’t think the same of herself. In either regard. Her whole body was plush and soft. And while she knew she had muscle securing her skeleton and keeping her up right, no way she flexed or moved made her skin pull taut against it enough for it to be seen in a mirror. Even the way she was sitting right now showed her body’s weakness. 

The water in her shower was boiling. Her skin turned red from the heat of it as it poured over her. So hot that her head swayed if she continued to stand up, so it was for her own safety she sat. The likelihood of her fainting was annoying and bothersome to her, so no doubt it felt even worse having to be a person to take care of her.

Thinking back on that night, the night they had kissed, her head started putting the puzzle pieces together. Athena remembered how strong she thought Yoshino was. How calm she was as she talked about her husband’s death. How she made the choice to retire early so that her son would always have a parent as he grew up. 

Athena finally placed the last piece in the puzzle laid out in her mind. She wasn’t Yoshino. She’d never be able to manage a kid on her own. She could barely carry herself day to day.

No one could be expected to put up with maintaining her. Especially not someone of Shikamaru’s rank. He’d made the decision that was right for both of them. Who was she to question such a trusted strategist. 

If anyone could see through the passion and emotion that flowed between them as they kissed, it’d be him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Temari had noticed the change in Shikamaru’s mood. It was hard not to.

At first she put it down to the awkwardness shared between them. No one would like having to escort their ex around for a little less than a week, even if the two of them had split amicably. 

However, that theory was broken down before the end of her first day. She had been expecting him to be more hostile towards her, but no. He had simply reverted back to how their relationship had been before they had started dating.But now she was truly curious. Even if it was none of her business anymore, she desperately wanted to find out the cause of his restlessly tapping fingers, and tensed shoulders.

Temari only had to wait a few days before she got the answer though.

She heard Shizune’s heels tapping down the hall before she heard the medic-nin call her name. Shikamaru and Temari stopped in their tracks for a moment, letting her catch up, before having to move again to keep up with the busy-bodied woman. It stayed quiet between the three of them until Shizune had been able to find what she was looking for in her stack of papers.

“Here are the notes from the historian. It’s her first official document she’s done for us, so let me know your thoughts on it, okay? Thank you, Temari!” Shizune rattled on. She had already started jogging away by the time Temari had processed her words.

Looking down at the folder in her hands, Temari opened it gently, her eyes widening as she did. Inside the envelope was a small stack of papers, covered in ink. Each word had been written in cursive. The slanted loops and small spaces made it obvious that the author’s mind seemed to work quicker than her hand did, not being able to keep up with the trails of thought that were now held in Temari’s hands. 

Leaning against the closest wall, she began skimming over each page. While Temari had known that Konoha would probably be able to provide more information than Suna, the scribbles in front of her were more than she’d expected. However, it wasn’t the information that surprised her most. What shocked her the most was the commentary between each fact. 

Written in red ink, Athena had added her own commentary about the societal context that revolved around each major movement the First and Second Hokage’s made.

As eager as Temari was to actually read what the historian had written, the presence over her shoulder wasn’t appreciated.

“Would you like to read it first?” she challenged. It was clear that Shikamaru wasn’t ready for her question. This was made clear by the small jump of his bones as he whipped his head away from her, his hands plunging into his pockets to appear nonchalant.

“No. Just curious what the red bits were, that’s all.” Shikamaru’s muttered words only served to provoke her further. While they hadn’t been together long, she had been with him long enough to tell when he was bending his words. Trying to only give enough of an answer to satisfy the person asking the question.

“So what did you think?” Temari asked. She was going to trap him into giving her some idea of what was making him so moody. She just had to be patient and start slow.

“Didn’t really get to read much. I only looked at it for a second before you attacked me.” She wanted to argue his definition of ‘attack’, but it’d only scare him off.

“You were reading over my shoulder for a full minute.”

“I was standing beside you for a full minute. I only started reading when I saw the red, that’s all.”

“So what do you think?”

“I told you, I only read-”

“What do you think of Athena?” The way he immediately stopped talking pulled a smile from her lips. The way he screwed his face up in anger was just the icing on the cake. He was trying to hide by walking to the nearest window and lighting a cigarette, giving her every sign that he wanted her to back off. However, there was no way she was going to let him squirm his way out now. Temari had hit the nail on the head, and she was nowhere near satisfied enough to drop it now that she’d connected the dots.

Shikamaru wasn’t sure if he was angrier at her for trapping him like this, or himself for allowing himself to be trapped. Turning his head back and seeing Temari’s smirk only made him angrier.

“What?” He snapped.

“You like her, don’t you?” Shikamaru didn’t bother answering. His unmoving form was far more than enough confirmation for Temari. “Just a tip though, stop making your googly eyes so obvious. That’s probably the reason she isn’t into you,”

“No, it really isn’t.” He muttered, stubbing his cigarette out with more pressure than necessary. Temari became concerned. This obviously went deeper than just an unrequited crush, and while she didn’t want to talk about her ex’s love life, she knew if she didn’t make him talk it over now, he was going to shut right back down.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Obviously something happen-”

“Nothing! Nothing happened and nothing can happen!” Shikamaru snarled, huffing before taking a full breath and forcing his anger down. “It just can’t happen.”

The silence between them rang loudly through the hallway for a long moment before Temari spoke again.

“Shikamaru? What’s going on?” At some point they had both ended up sitting on the floor across from each other. Temari sat as politely as she could. Shikamaru bowed his head and rested his arms on his bent knees.

It took a few minutes, but Shikamaru broke and told Temari all that had happened in his head since the very first moment he met Athena. 

The moment she opened her front door.

The interrupted kiss.

Holding her in his arms after she’d received her seal.

The kiss.

Silently walking her home.

All the way to the dinner a few nights prior.

Through it all Shikamaru kept his face bowed. Temari kept herself quiet. 

She gave him a few more moments to be sure he had finished before she spoke.

“Do you want my advice?” 

His response was swift.

“No.”

Sighing deeply, Temari stood up. Picking up her notes, she decided it’d be for the best that she hid them back in their envelope, not risking the outcome a single glance at them could spiral into it.

Shikamaru heard Temari say goodbye and leave, he just hadn’t bothered to acknowledge her. He waited until he couldn’t hear her any more before standing up. His whole body felt like an exposed nerve in that moment.

And while he knew his feelings were too much for even a nap to shoo away, it’s all he could bear to think about as he trudged his way back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For someone who says they hate angst, I sure do love to bully my characters 😅


End file.
